Siblings with Benefits
by Flagg1991
Summary: After watching porn and getting horny, Lincoln and Luan make-out...which leads to a sexual relationship that may tear the Loud family apart. Cover by Raganoxer.
1. Making Out

**In my last story** _ **Thicker than Blood**_ **, I asked you, the readers, to choose what my next story would be:** _ **A Nightmare on Loud Street Part II, Reeling in the Years**_ **, or** _ **Siblings with Benefits. Siblings with Benefits**_ **won by a long shot. Be warned, though, this story gets kind of silly.**

* * *

In the stillness of the night, a door creaks slowly open and a slitted pair of eyes appear in the crack, seeing nothing but dark, empty hallway. The door opens just wide enough to allow a shadowy figure to slip out, pulling the door softly closed behind it. Tiptoeing, it goes to the head of the stairs, where it pauses and cocks its head to listen, hearing nothing. Satisfied, it creeps down the stairs, pressing its back and arms against the wall, and steps over the third tread, which squeaks too loudly for the figure's liking. At the bottom, it listens again, longer this time.

Nothing.

It smiles and moves into the living room, where it leaps over the back of the couch and lands on its butt. It snatches the remote off the coffee table, clicks the TV on, and kicks its feet up, the soft electric glue revealing a wide, open face with brown eyes, freckles, and white hair. "When you have ten sisters," Lincoln muttered archly to himself, "sneaking downstairs to watch Skinemax is no easy task." He chuckled and slapped his knee. Sometimes he imagines his life is a TV show, and addresses an imaginary audience because that's how he thought; some people are deep, solitary thinkers who can sit quietly in a corner and work through the tangled mass of data in their brain, others talk out loud to themselves, and others still pretended to narrate their own lives like Ray Liotta in _Goodfellas_. Like that old song says, different strokes for different folks.

Snuggling back into the couch, Lincoln hit a series of buttons, and after a second, the screen was filled with a woman's breasts. Cheesy porn music played, and his heart clutched. Better, uh, turn that down; he sent the volume down a few clicks. He could barely hear, but you know what? He wasn't here for the storyline. If he wanted plot and characterization, he'd read an Ace Savvy comic. Tonight, he wanted one thing and one thing only: Hot, boner-inducing softcore porn.

No one knew about his nightly escapades except for Lana...well, she probably didn't know, but she had to know something was up, since it was her mechanical know-how that allowed the family TV to pick up Skinemax, a Canadian channel. Lincoln paid the little girl fifteen dollars a month in hush money...speaking of which, he had five days to come up with five dollars, or she'd be forced to mention to Mom and Dad that a porn station somehow managed to slip through the parental block. That was a problem for another day, though; right now, a hot blonde was on her back and a man was thrusting into her, and Lincoln's dick was starting to tingle and twitch into a standing position. Lincoln sat the remote on the couch next to him and squeezed his bulge through his pajama pants.

Where's that lotion? There was always a bottle in the living room somewhere. He got up and walked around, scanning the shadowy murk. Ah, there, on the end table by the stairs. He went over, grabbed it, and walked back to the couch, where he sat. Actually, this was going to get messy, he needed a towel or something. He couldn't risk going back upstairs. Oh, I know, the basement! He'd grab a towel or something from the dirty clothes hamper.

He got up, went into the kitchen, and opened the basement door, snapping the light on. At the bottom of the stairs, he turned left and entered the laundry room: Hampers crammed full of dirty clothes sat forgotten before the washer and drier. Lincoln shook his head: Lori was slacking. He rooted around in one, yanked out a towel, and then hurried back upstairs. When he entered the living room, his heart sank into his stomach: Luan was sitting on the couch, her arms crossed and her face bathed in blue TV light. She was wearing a simple white nightgown that stopped just above her knees. She glanced at Lincoln and lifted a brow.

"It's not what it looks like!"

She glanced to the bottle of lotion on the table, then back to him.

"I swear!"

She drew a deep breath and shook her head. "Lincoln...this is beyond disgusting. You're a terrible, awful freak of nature and a pervert. I'm not sure I want to be your sister anymore."

Horror filled Lincoln's chest.

She studied him with dark, narrow eyes the way one might study a particularly hideous big...then a big, sunny smile broke across her face. "I'm messing with you. Come here."

Lincoln's brow furrowed.

"Come here," she said again and patted the spot next to her.

Guarded, Lincoln went over and sat stiffly beside his sister.

"Watching porn is normal, Linc," she said, and crossed her legs in addition to her arms. "Don't feel bad."

On the screen, the man was thrusting into the woman from behind. Lincoln's penis was conflicted: It was partially hard because the action on TV was h-o-t hot, but it was partially soft because Luan was right next to him, and had scared the bejesus out of him when he walked in.

"I watch it too," she said absently. Lincoln looked up at her: Her eyes were trained on the TV and she looked deeply lost in it, her brow set and her lips pursed.

"Y-You do?" Lincoln asked.

She nodded. "Yep. Like I said, it's the most normal thing in the world." On TV, the woman was in the man's lap, bouncing. Luan's teeth grazed her bottom lip and her breathing was starting to get heavy. The look of lust in her eyes was unmistakable, and Lincoln was suddenly very uncomfortable...even if he _was_ getting harder.

He turned away from her and stared at the coffee table. Wow. This was really awkward. The sound of her hitching breath and the sexual energy radiating from her body made him shudder, and not in an entirely good way. He started to get up, but she stopped him, "Where are you going?" she asked without looking away from the screen

"To bed," he replied.

"Why?" she asked. "You wanted to watch some bump and grind, didn't you?" She looked at him and grinned mischievously.

Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, yeah I did, but, uh, not with my sister."

Luan's brows knitted. "Why not?" she asked.

"It's weird."

She cocked her head. "Why's it weird?"

Did she really not understand? Watching two people have sex while your older sister is right next to you is strange, to say the least. Both of you being openly turned on? That's _really_ strange. And creepy. And gross.

"Because...you're my sister."

"Yeah. And you're my brother. I thought we got our introductions out of the way eleven years ago."

He started to reply, but she fixed him with wounded eyes. "Come on, I just wanna hang out. I can't sleep."

Lincoln sighed, the Good Brother within wrestling control, and sat. "Why can't you sleep?" he asked.

"Nightmare," she said matter-of-factly.

Blue light danced in her eyes. Her cheeks were red, he noticed, and she was rubbing her thighs together ever so slightly. She looked restless, but hey, nightmares tend to do that to you. "What was it about?"

She stared at the TV, her eyes hazing and her tongue wetting her bottom lip. Lincoln's stomach felt funny and his dick throbbed. He tried to glance away, but his eyes fell on her chest, and his heart sputtered when he realized her nipples were poking against the fabric of her nightgown. He forced himself to look away and at the screen, but she filled his periphery, and his traitorous neck drifted until he was staring at her legs. They were rubbing together faster now, the hem of her dress pushing farther and farther up, revealing the soft, smooth flesh of her thighs. Lincoln's throat was dry and tacky. Where her dress stopped there were shadows...shadows that tantalizingly hid her sex. He craned his neck, hating himself for hoping to catch even the faintest glimpse.

A stair step creaked. "Is someone down there?"

Luan and Lincoln both jumped at the sound of Lori's voice. "Shit!" Luan hissed and leapt to her feet. Heart blasting, Lincoln grabbed the remote off the table and jabbed the power button with a trembling finger.

Another step creaked. She was coming down!

Lincoln was frozen in terror. Luan stood where she was, rooted in place.

"Hello?"

Ahhhh!

"The closet!" Luan hissed. There was a coat closet by the front door. It was cramped, but it would keep them from being busted.

Luan started for the closet, and Lincoln came alive, jumping up and banging his little toe on one of the table legs. Hot pain rocketed up his body, and he almost cried out. In dusty moonlight streaming through the small windows beside the front door, Luan yanked the door open and turned. "Come on!"

Lincoln limped into the foyer and brushed past Luan, who pulled the door closed behind her; her butt smooshed into Lincoln's crotch, and he panicked, because he was still hard. She jumped, but didn't move away...couldn't move away...her body was pressed between him and the door, which popped open. "Shit!" she hissed, and pulled it closed again, moving even farther back, her butt grinding against his aching shaft and her hair tickling his face. _Go down, go down, go down, go down!_ Instead, it throbbed harder, tenting his pajama bottoms and poking the cleft of Luan's butt, pushing the thin fabric of her nightgown slightly in and giving her a wedgie. Lincoln's face was beet red and his heart slammed. If it were possible to die from embarrassment, he would have dropped dead that minute.

Luan's body was stiff against him, her hair in his face, her shoulders against his throat. Her breathing was ragged.

"I'm sorry," he moaned.

 _"Shhhh!"_

He bared his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it...ignore the clean, warm scent of her hair, ignore the way her butt cheeks are basically gripping the head of your dick, ignore the fact that your lips are basically pressed against the soft curve of her neck, ignore her body, her breathing, your boner...ignore it all! He was trying _really_ hard, but it was too much.

In the living room, Lori called out, so close that Luan jerked back, more of Lincoln's penis poking between her cheeks. Her entire body was flushed and the spot between her thighs was tingling hotly. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. Ignore it...pretend it's not happening...pretend that there isn't a hot, throbbing rod penetrating you...pretend that hot breaths aren't puffing against the crook of your neck and making you quiver.

Lincoln's body trembled, and he fought desperately to pull his erection away, but there was literally no room; he was trapped, forced to stand there with his penis (as covered as it may be) in his sister's butt (as covered as _it_ may be). He was hyperventilating, and her smell was making him lightheaded. He shifted, and the sensation made him gasp. Luan let out a shuddery breath and tensed, her head falling slightly back and his lips grazing her neck. Her skin was salty and sweet and like silk. Lincoln's breath caught and Luan let out a long, low moan that struck a primal nerve deep in his stomach. Almost against his will, his mouth opened wider, his lips tickling her skin; she took a deep breath, her body twisting against his.

 _Stop!_ Instead, he kissed her neck and she purred, arching her back and squirming her butt against his crotch. He was losing himself to passion, becoming a mindless animal whose entire existence revolved around carnal desire. He put his hands on her hips and trailed kisses from her shoulder to her ear. She gasped and threw her head back against his shoulder, her eyes rolling back in her head and her mind clouding with lust. Panting, Lincoln lifted his hand to her breast and cupped it: It was warm and full through her nightgown; her nipple prodded his palm.

Eyes closed, lost in the moment, Lincoln and Luan leaned into each other's lips and kissed, their tongues slipping wetly over one another and moving hungrily together. Luan turned and pinned him to the wall; his rigid shaft jabbed her crotch, and she gasped into his mouth. His hands moved up her legs, pushing the hem of her dress to her hips as they went. She was naked underneath, and when he realized this, he grabbed her butt and drew her closer to him.

"Is someone in there?" Lori asked outside the door, and both of them froze, their eyelids flying open and locking: Gazing into each other's eyes, brother and sister came crashing back to earth and realized what they were doing. Luan gasped and pulled away while Lincoln's knees gave out and dropped him to his ass. Luan collided with the door, and it flew open, spilling her to the ground with a breathy _umph!_

Lori uttered a sharp scream and jumped back. "Luan! What are you doing?"

 _I made out with my sister,_ Lincoln thought and hugged his knees to his chest. _I made out with my sister...oh, god, I made out with my sister..._

"Lincoln?" Lori asked, spotting him. She crossed her arms and flattened her brow. "Alright, you two have _five_ seconds to explain what's going on here."

Lincoln opened his mouth and worked his throat, but only a hollow moan came out. Luan sat up and rubbed the back of her head, her eyes wincing in pain.

"Well?" Lori demanded.

"We were raiding the fridge," Luan lied, "and we panicked when we heard you coming."

 _We were raiding_ something _alright,_ Lincoln thought, and shivered.

Lori's eyes flicked suspiciously from Luan to Lincoln, then back again. Did she see his boner? The abiding guilt in his eyes? Did she smell the incest clinging to him like the stench of death? "Get to bed," she said, "both of you. _Now."_

Luna pushed herself up and slunk away. Lincoln stood on shaky knees and hurried past his oldest sister, her gaze hot on the back of his neck.

It took him a _long_ time to fall asleep that night.


	2. Luan Loud's Breakfast of Champions

**In AberrantScript's fantastic story** _ **I Am Not A Pervert**_ **there's a scene where Linc and Lynn are in the living room, under a blanket, Linc on bottom and Lynn on top, and...well, his thing is in her hoo-ha. Lana comes in and jumps onto Lynn's back (they're under a blanket, remember) and has Lincoln help her fix her pigtails or something...meanwhile Lincoln is literally cumming in Lynn. It's pretty awkward. I told him I would top it. I don't know if I did, but there's a scene in here that's an attempt, at least. If you've read** _ **I Am Not A Pervert**_ **and know what I'm talking about, tell me who did it better (my vote's for Abby, by the way).**

 **Sir Viper: I do remember the idea, and I would still like to do it. I am balls deep in a project right now (I mean,** _ **so**_ **deep) so it's not going to be now. Still really like it, though.**

 **Guest: I don't have one written, but I'm still toying with an idea.**

* * *

Luan laid back against the bed and licked her lips, a tiny moan slipping through as a hot, wet tongue plunged into her secret well. She grabbed the sheet in both hands and thrusted her hips upwards, overwhelming sensation crackling along her nerve endings like electricity. Her body burned and her breast shook under the power of her heartbeat. God, it felt so good...she was going to cum, she was going to cry out so loud the walls would crash down around her and...it stopped.

Frowning, she opened her eyes and lifted up to see why.

Lincoln smiled from between her legs, his mouth slick with her juice. "You taste good, sis."

Luan sat bolt upright in bed and screamed, her hands flying to the sides of her face. With a cry, Luna rolled out of her own bed and hit the floor with a thud, the blankets tangled around her. "What?" she asked sleepily, and tried to fight her way out of the shroud. "What's going on?"

When she realized it was only a dream, Luan bit her lip and covered her face with shaking hands, her heart racing and her breath coming in short, hot gasps. The weight of what she did the night before dropped onto her, and she fell back against the pillow. Did she really make out with Lincoln? Did she _really_ kiss him with her tongue? Gahhhhh!

Across the room, Luna broke out of her cocoon and crawled away. "What's wrong?" she asked as she propped her elbows on the edge of Luan's bed. Her eyes were red and puffy with sleep.

Luan shook her head. "Nothing."

"You fucking scared me."

"Sorry."

Luna drew herself to her feet and stumbled back over to her bed, dropping on face first without so much as grabbing her covers.

Luan's mind flashed back to the night before, Lincoln's erection prodding between her butt cheeks and his hand lightly massaging her breast through her nightgown; a mixture of shame and passion rippled through her body. She wasn't the most in-touch-with-themselves person on the face of the earth, but she also wasn't the type who could lie to herself: The way he touched her felt _reaaaally_ good. If Lori hadn't interrupted them, god only knows how far they would have gone...but thankfully she did, and when Luan opened her eyes and stared into his...the eyes of her little brother...horror washed through her. The thing that horrified her most was the firm voice in the back of her head that told her to keep going...it feels _sooooo_ good, so why stop?

The alarm clock beeped on the nightstand, and Luna slapped it off. "Do you remember waking up screaming last night?" she muttered thickly as she sat up.

"You mean three minutes ago?" Luan asked.

Luna blinked. "Oh. I thought it was longer." She sat with her hands splayed on either side of her and her head swaying drunkenly. "I gotta piss," she said, and she got up.

Sighing, Luan rubbed her temples. It wasn't that bad. She...accidentally made out with her brother...keeping it in the family, heh...that sort of thing happens, right? Surely she wasn't the first girl to get a little carried away...not in the billion years of human history...in fact, it didn't even go that far; she bet a lot of siblings went a lot farther, it's just no one ever talks about it. Neither she or Lincoln were freaks of nature...that was good to know...still, aw, man. His dick was practically inside of her, and he touched her breast, and they kissed, and...Luan Mare Loud, why are you getting wet?

Because it felt _really_ good.

But it was Lincoln doing it to you!

So? Pretend it wasn't. Kind of like you did last night.

 _I wasn't pretending! I just...kind of forgot._

Well...forget again. All this pressure building up in your tummy isn't good for you; pretend it wasn't Lincoln and touch yourself...

 _You taste good, sis._

Alright, no. Luan got out of bed and hurried into the hall, as if the thoughts _wouldn't_ follow her. Luna was standing in front of the bathroom door with her arms crossed and one foot tapping impatiently against the floor. Lucy stood behind her, the little girl's hands clasped behind her back; she rocked happily back and forth on her heels and hummed, which kind of surprised Luan. "Hey, Luce," she said, glancing over her should (nope, no sexual thoughts had followed her, heh), "you're in a good mood."

"Yep," the little girl said lightly, "I had the most horrifying nightmare imaginable last night. It was pretty sweet."

"Oh," Luan said and blinked. Lucy was such a strange bird. "I, uh, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Lucy said, and giggled...literally giggled..."it was mind-blastingly awful. I hope I have it again tonight."

The bathroom door opened, forestalling Luan's reply, and Lynn came out; she wore a towel around her body which stopped inches below the tops of her thighs. "Shitter's free," she said, and playfully bopped Lucy on the top of the head as she passed. "Morning, chuckles," she said to Luan.

"Good morning," Luan said guardedly. She knew Lynn; the hammer was going to drop any second.

Lynn's eyes flicked down. "Didja piss yourself?"

Luan blinked. "No."

"Your crotch is wet." A devious grin cleaved Lynn's face. "Having sex dreams again?"

"No!"

"Who was it about this time, Clyde?"

Luan crossed her arms and looked pointedly away from her sister. Lynn chuckled and went on. When she was gone, Luan looked down at her crotch, and yep, the fabric was damp. Her face flushed with shame and she hung her head, her hands creeping demurely over the wet spot.

When she heard the distinctive creak of Lincoln's door opening, every muscle in her body clamped up and her lungs stopped working. Oh, God, she couldn't face him right now!

For a long moment nothing happened...no footfalls approached...no presence appeared behind her...she could imagine him standing in his doorway all clammed up just like she was, his face pale and his chest rapidly expanding and contracting. The look she saw in his (imaginary) eyes made her sad. He looked guilty and ashamed, and he really shouldn't, because it was her fault in the first place. Why the hell didn't she turn around and go back upstairs when she saw what was on the TV screen last night? Why did she have to feel a flutter of lust in her loins? And why didn't she leave when he came out of the basement?

Was she...oh, God...did she _want_ something like that to happen?

"H-Hey, L-Luan," Lincoln said nervously behind her, and she jumped, her arms coming up and knocking Lucy forward.

She opened her mouth, but her vocal cords were locked up. She wheezed and coughed. "Uh, hey, uh, L-Linc, h-how's it g-going?" Her heart was pounding and her stomach was fluttery. Part of it was shame, but another part was nerves...like she felt around boys she liked. Oh _brother._ Heh.

It wasn't funny.

At all.

"Uh...it's, uh, it's going, yeah." He chuckled nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away, trying hard not to think about last night but failing miserably. His dick, already hard when he woke up (just another normal case of morning wood...) twitched in his briefs, and he suddenly wished he'd stayed in his room. What pushed him out was the desire to make sure that he and Luan were still, you know, 'okay.' His first instinct when he opened the door and saw her was to turn tail and run, but this was his sister, and he loved her: He knew it would be awkward as hell, but he needed them to get past this, because if they didn't, it would torture him. "I, uh, I saw a funny joke on Facebook last night."

"Oh, uh, w-what was it?"

"Uh, what did, uh, J-Jeffery Dahmer say when his m-mother said she didn't like his friends?"

That joke sounded familiar, but Luan honestly couldn't remember. "I don't know, w-what did he say?"

"T-That's okay, m-mom, just eat the noodles."

Luan faked a laugh that turned into a real laugh as all the pent-up nerves rushed out of her. She bent at the waist and clasped her knees, tears streaming down her face. Behind her, Lincoln laughed hysterically too (or was he crying?); he fell onto his back and rolled left and right like a turtle trying to get up, his hands pressed to his stomach. Lucy turned and watched them impassively. And they said _she_ was strange.

"That's a funny joke, Linc," Luan said, brushing a tear from her eye. "Because he killed and ate people."

"Yeah," Lincoln replied, getting to his feet, "and because it implies that he and his mother were eating dinner, and it was his friends."

They looked at each other, and both of them blushed. Luan turned away and took a deep breath. She was fully aware that there was a bulge in his briefs, and for some reason she was very proud of herself for not looking. Why should she be? _Hey, you didn't eye fuck your brother's dick, good going_.

Because she liked the way it looked and, oh God, felt last night?

 _Shut up!_

The bathroom door opened, and Luna came out. Luan had to get out of here...so she shoved Lucy aside and hurried into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She leaned against it and took a deep breath. The fleeting memory of his boner resting in the cleft of her butt flitted across her mind, and she closed her eyes against a tingling rush of passion.

He was her brother but she didn't care: She wanted to fuck him.

* * *

Lincoln stared into the cereal bowl before him the way a medium might stare into a crystal ball, his hands fisted in his lap and his thoughts drifting. Why did he make himself breakfast? He wasn't hungry. Far from it, in fact: His stomach was slick with nerves, and just smelling the milk and the sugary, over processed flakes floating in it made him want to be sick. He swallowed against a dry throat and swore he could still taste Luan's lips on his.

His sister's lips.

Her soft, sweet lips.

Gah! He didn't know what was worse: That he could still taste her, or that he _liked_ it. Yeah, no use in denying it, every time he thought about what happened in the closet, he felt funny in his stomach _and_ his pants.

 _You're gross, man; that's your sister!_

He knew who she was...and it made him feel guilty as hell; kissing your sister and liking it is pretty messed up.

 _I didn't mean to!_

And he didn't. He just...got lost in the moment. He had a soft, warm girl against him...you know...shit happened. The more he allowed himself to dwell on it...on the way her body felt against his, the way her soft, warm ass felt cupped in his hands...the more he didn't care if _was_ messed up. God help him, _he didn't care._

He drew a heavy sigh. Alright, he didn't care if what he and Luan did was fucked...got that out of the way (no need to grapple with it for eight chapters)...did he want to do it again? He imagined him and Luan lying on his bed, her on top of him and their tongues making sweet love to each other as his hands slid down the arch of her back and her fingers unzipped his jeans. He bit his bottom lip as dream Luan released dream Lincoln's dick and wrapped her hand around it. "Hey, Linc [insert cheesy pun here]. Get it?" When she slipped it into her mouth, real Lincoln gasped and opened his eyes. From the raging erection pushing against the inside of his pants...yes...he wanted to do it again. Okay. _Should_ he do it again?

Why not?

Well, for one, she was his sister, and setting aside the lust (and that's what this was), he loved her, and he valued their relationship. Fucking her would _change_ their relationship; it would have to. Can you _really_ have sex with someone and not feel differently about them? What if she got all emotionally attached and shit? What if _he_ got all emotionally attached and shit? Sex would alter the dynamic...absolutely.

Right?

But what if didn't? What if they could have sex...and still be siblings? Hell, people can have friends with benefits...why not a sister with benefits?

 _Sister with benefits? God, listen to yourself!_

Yeah...it did sound kind of jacked up when you called it for what it was, it was like...calamari. See, there was this Chinese buffet in town that Lincoln _loved_. He could sit in there all day and eat the place to the ground. One of his favorite things was calamari or some damn thing: These whole, tiny octopi in some kind of brown sauce. Jesus, those things were good. He'd heap a plate to the ceiling with them, and his sisters all gagged and said he was gross, but he didn't care...as long as he didn't look too hard at these things and think about it. Don't look too hard at Luan...don't think about her being your sister...just enjoy her mouth and her body and...

Where was he?

Oh, right. Sister with benefits. Why not? They could fool around...make each other feel good...then be a normal brother and sister when they were finished. Lincoln was pretty sure he could do that without catching feelings, but there was still a chance he might.

Hm. His big head told him to forget about it. His _little_ head, on the other hand, told him to go on and see for himself; you'll never know if you don't do it, Linc. Usually he listened to his brain, but with the way his blood was boiling, he was inclined to listen to his dick.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize Luan had come into the dining room until she dropped into a chair diagonal from him. He glanced up, and their eyes met. A tiny grin touched her face, and Lincoln grinned back. Oh, yeah, she wants it. Come to Big Daddy Lincoln.

"You look like shit, Lola," Lori said, glancing at the girl next to her. Dark bags hung under the beauty queen's eyes and her skin was sallow.

"She _always_ looks like shit," Lynn snickered.

Lola flipped Lynn the bird. "Lana kept me up all night beating her girl meat to some stupid monster truck rally on her phone. _Vroom, vroom, I'm cumming!"_

Lana, sitting on Lola's other side, shot her a withering glance. "I was _not_ beating my girl meat to it."

"She was beating her boy meat," Lori said. "Didn't Lisa give her a dick?"

"No!" Lana cried. Uh-oh, Lincoln thought, it's roast time.

"I did, in fact," Lisa said. "Lana asked me to transform her into a boy because she quote unquote feels like a boy trapped in a girl's body."

Lana leaned over the table and glared at Lisa. "I never said that, bitch."

"What's it like being a total freak of nature?" Lola asked.

"What's it like being a pageant slut who licks Lindsey Sweetwater between her legs?"

Lincoln shook his head and turned to look at Luan...but she was already looking at him, her eyes pooled with lust and her bottom lip pinched between her teeth. Lincoln's stomach rippled and his heartbeat quickened. She really _did_ want it! This was fucking great! If they didn't have to leave for school in a few minutes, he'd jump her bones like a monkey in heat. He puckered his lips, and she nodded eagerly.

You know what? Fuck breakfast. He grabbed his bowl, got up, and carried it into the kitchen, dumping the contents into the trash and then setting it in the sink. He had a throbbing hard-on, and he bent slightly to hide it as he went back in the dining room. He nodded as he passed, and she jumped up, nearly knocking her chair over. Wordlessly, he went upstairs, and was barely at the top when she grabbed him, spun him around, and kissed him, jamming her tongue deep into his mouth and running her fingers through his hair. He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her back, thrusting his hard-on against her. She shoved him against the wall and he slipped his hands under her skirt. She wasn't wearing underwear, and he gripped her butt as tight as he could. She gasped into his mouth and pulled back, her eyes shining. "Your room," she panted, "now."

Lincoln grinned.

In his room, she shut the door behind her and when he turned, she shoved him to the bed and straddled him. Her dank heat radiated through the fabric of his jeans, and his erection ached for release. She leaned over and kissed him, her breasts mashing against his chest. When the kiss broke, she smiled at him. "I have an idea," she said.

"What?" Lincoln asked.

"Get up."

He stood on shaky knees, and she slipped under the covers. "Come on."

He sat on the bed, and she pushed him back against the pillow. When she started unzipping his jeans, his breath caught. He watched her as she pulled them and his underwear down, her eyes widening as his dick sprang out. "Damn, Linc!"

She drew the blanket up until it was covering him to the chest then scooted down: He gasped as he slid past her lips and into her warm, wet mouth. "Daaaaamn," he moaned, fisting a handful of the sheet. She started bobbing her head back and forth, her tongue flicking along his shaft and her lips molding around. It felt so fucking good that –

Someone knocked on the door, and his heart leapt. "Stop," he hissed, but she kept going.

Before he could call out, the door opened and Lola came in. Lincoln hurriedly propped his knees up in an M so that she wouldn't see Luan between his legs. He hoped to God the blanket covered all of her.

"Lincy," Lola said and came in, "we..." she trailed off and cocked her brow. "You okay?"

Lincoln nodded and smiled nervously. The sensations crackling along his nerve endings were making his right eyelid twitch. He could feel himself beginning to pant; sweat trickled down the sides of his face.

"You look sick," she said and came forward. _Go away!_

She stood by the edge of the bed and stared down at him with concern in her eyes.

"I-I-I'm just...I-I-I d-d-don't feel good."

She pressed one gloved hand to his forehead as Luan increased her speed and began to knead his balls. He jerked and shied away from Lola's touch. "You're burning up," she said.

Lincoln's eyes rolled back in his head and he clawed the sheets.

"Poor Lincy," Lola said, and leaned in. Lincoln watched in horror as she puckered her lips; they came down in slow motion, and Lincoln was powerless to speak or even move as his climax started to rush up from his depths.

Lola's lips touched his forehead just as he filled Luan's mouth, his hips bucking and sending his dick against the back of her throat. He cried out and arched his back, pushing Lola away. "I'm going to get Lori, okay?"

She hurried away, and as soon as she was gone, Luan jumped out from under the covers, her face red; his thick white seed dribbled down her chin. "Talk about a close _ball_ ," she said, "get it?"

Before Lincoln could reply, she darted out of the room, and he was alone, his breathing ragged and his heart racing.

 _Well..._ that _just happened_.

Lincoln smiled.


	3. It's Getting Hot in Here

**Midgar9210: I figured I'd change things up in this story and not spend chapter after chapter having them go back and forth on their emotions. I think it worked out for the best – this time.**

 **Guest: That totally sounds like something I'd write.**

* * *

Luan virtually skipped to school that morning, the warm taste of her brother's cum coating her mouth. Lynn, usually the faster walker of the two, had to hurry to keep up with her. "You're full of energy this morning," she said, then narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Did you steal one of my sports bars?"

"Nope," Luan said with a shake of the head. "I ate _something else_." Her eyes flashed knowingly, and Lynn's brows furrowed. Allllright. "Twenty million somethings, really."

Lynn snickered and poked her sister's stomach. "I can believe it. You're gaining weight."

Usually a remark like that would elicit a shocked response; today, Luan ignored her entirely, her smile never wavering.

"Hey, chuckles, you got a little something on your chin there," Lynn said, pointing. Luan's smile widened. "Drooling all down your chin like Leni during a math test," Lynn said and shook her head. She poked Luan's chin, and her fingertip came back sticky. "Ewww." She blotted her hand on her gym shorts.

"Shouldn't have touched it," Luan chirped and wiped her mouth. As Lynn watched, Luan licked her palm and sighed contentedly. "Yum."

"You're weird," Lynn said.

The rest of the day Luan found herself smacking her lips and daydreaming about the way Lincoln's hot, pulsing dick felt in her mouth...and the way his cum shot against the back of her throat when he released: Uhhhhh, it was _nice_. And the sounds he made...the little grunts and groans as she slid her lips wetly up and down his shaft...there was something immensely satisfying in knowing that _she_ was the one making him moan like that. Oh...and Lola walking in and almost catching them...talk about _hot_. She wished she wore panties, because she was getting wet just thinking about it.

An image of Lincoln's face...his goofy smile and his freckles...danced across her mind...and she felt a mixture of guilt, disgust, and self-loathing: It was easy to think of his dick and get hot, but his face? His face was a reminder that he was her little brother.

Even though that made her feel bad...it was kind of hot, too. Forbidden sibling lust...doing things to your brother that you shouldn't be doing...putting his penis in your mouth and opening your legs for him...

Oh, yeah, _that_ got her motor running, so much so that when the bell rang and she got up, the seat was slick and her skirt was kind of damp. She considered going to the girls room and taking care of herself, but decided against it: When she got home, she'd have Lincoln take care of her. One touch might be enough, and the idea of cumming after a single brush of his fingers sent ripples of pleasure into her core.

Three miles away, Lincoln lie in bed, the covers pulled up to his waist. After coming in and checking his forehead the way Lola had, Lori decided he should stay home from school. "You're, like, all pale and quivery. You _literally_ look like you're going to die."

His other sisters (save for Luan) were crowded around the bed, and Lana gasped. "Lincoln's going to die?"

"I call his room!" Lynn said.

"I call his body," Lucy said. "The Young Mortician's Club could really use it."

Leni started to cry. "I don't want Lincy to die!"

"I'm not going to die," he said, holding up his hand. "It's...it's just a stomach bug. I'm fine."

Wishing him well, his sisters filed out until only Lucy remained, watching him intently from behind her bangs. Lincoln sighed. "Yes, Lucy, if I die you can have my body."

A ghost of a smile touched her face. "Thanks, Lincoln." She turned and walked out, shutting the door behind her and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

 _Holy shit, Luan sucked my dick!_

He laced his hands behind his head and took a deep, shivery breath. Sure, he felt a little ashamed of himself (she _was_ his sister, after all), but damn, that felt good. And you know what? Knowing it was his sister made it even better.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Eh, a lot, apparently. Oh well. He wasn't about to launch into some long anxiety-filled self-loathing tirade. He liked getting his dick sucked by his sister and there was no use in playing cat-and-mouse with that fact...just like there was no use in debating with himself whether he would or should keep perusing Luan, because he was totally going to.

At some point, he fell asleep, and when he woke up, it was noon and he had a text from his mother asking how he was feeling. He replied, telling her that he napped and felt a lot better "but still kinda queasy." After texting back and forth with her for a while, he put his phone aside and got up, his stomach rumbling. Dad was at work and Lilly was at the sitter's, so he had the house to himself. Kind of strange: He was rarely ever home alone, and the pervasive silence was unnerving.

In the kitchen, he stole one of Lynn's sports bars and ate it as he leaned against the counter. What the hell does Lynn see in these things, anyway? They taste like cardboard. _Hey, guys, I have a big game today, so instead of eating something that'll give me energy, I'm going to eat this cereal box, if you don't mind. Ummm...cardboardy goodness!_

If he wasn't feeling lazy, he'd make some _real_ food. Actually...wasn't there some leftover noodle casserole in the fridge?

Uh...yeah, no, he'd rather eat cardboard smothered in plastic sauce than have another helping of _that_ shit. Dad...gotta love the guy...but he was an awful cook. I get it, thirteen people to feed, not the easiest thing in the world, but come on. They have better food in prison.

When he was done with the bar, he threw the wrapper into the trash and started to leave, then backed up and buried it under a bunch of other trash: If Lynn came home and saw that he pinched one of her precious sports bars, she'd be pissed.

Upstairs, he started for his room, but his eyes fell across Luan's door, and he paused, an idea coming to mind. _No, man,_ that's _perverted_.

For a moment he stood there, his hands on his hips and his lips pursed in contemplation. Fuck it. I _am_ a pervert. He opened the door and slipped in: Bright afternoon sunlight fell through the window and painted the carpet a rich, warm gold. He sniffed deeply, and imagined he could smell Luan. Does Lisa have cameras set up?

That gave him pause. He glanced around, but didn't see anything obvious. If she did, he already looked guilty, but...oh, fuck it. He went over to Luan's dresser, pulled the top drawer open, and grinned at the neatly folded stacks of panties. Red, green, white, yellow, blue, a virtual cornucopia of sinful delight ripe for the sniffing. He grabbed a blue pair and lifted them to his nose, breathing deeply of her warm scent. His eyes rolled back in his head and his knees quivered. Oh, yeah.

You know...she probably wouldn't mind if he 'borrowed' these.

Balling them up and holding this close to his chest, he left the room and darted into his, where he stretched out on the bed and laid them over his face. His sister's musk filled him, and his dick swelled tight against his inseam. God, he couldn't wait until she got home.

* * *

When Luan got home, Lori, Leni, and Lynn were sitting side-by-side on the couch. On TV, Dr. Phil was talking to a guy who said he turned into a canary on the third Monday of every month. Hm. Luan doubted...her train of thought totally derailed when she saw the back of Lincoln's head poking up from the armchair. Her heart went pitter-patter and her slit dampened. She unconsciously licked her lips as she casually swayed over and dropped onto the arm. He glanced up from his comic, and a devilish grin spread across his face. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied, leaning forward with half-lidded eyes. She stroked his cheek. "How you feeling?"

"Better...now," he said.

She giggled and dropped into the chair next to him. Lori and Lynn both glanced at her, their brows lifting in an identical expression. Leni's eyes remained glued to the TV: Birdman was, like, really cool.

"How was school?" he asked.

Luan sighed. "Long and hard."

Lincoln grinned. "That's not the only thing that's long and hard."

On the couch, Lori's mouth dropped open. What did he just say?

Giggling, Luan sidled closer. "I bet not." She put her hand on his leg and squeezed. He grazed his teeth across her bottom lip. Lori glanced at Lynn; her mouth hung open too. Leni was oblivious, but that was par for the course.

"I have an idea," Lincoln said.

"What's that?" Luan asked and batted her eyelashes.

"How about a massage? Since today was so rough."

Grinning, Luan nodded. "Yes, please." Lincoln opened his legs, and she climbed between them, thrilling when she felt his bulge pressing against her lower back. He placed his hands on her shoulders and started to knead her muscles with his thumbs. She sighed and leaned her head back, caressing his nose with her ponytail. "That feels _really_ good."

He worked lower, pressing firmly and rubbing with expert fingers. Luan's skin tingled and her center flooded with hot passion. She could feel her face burning and her nipples getting hard. She opened her eyes to slits and saw Lynn and Lori watching them with obvious shock. That made it even hotter! She rubbed her thighs together and moaned. " _Really_ good."

"Yeah?" Lincoln asked huskily and leaned in, his breath hot against her ear.

"Ummm."

His lips touched her neck and she shivered. "Ummm...Lincoln..."

Lori looked at Lynn. "What the fuck?" the jock mouthed.

Alright, this was getting out of hand. Lori cleared her throat. "Uh, Lincoln, Luan?"

Lincoln's hands snaked around Luan's hips and danced up her stomach, his lips wrapping around her earlobe. _"Knock it off!"_ Lori roared, jumping to her feet. Both of them jerked and looked at her; both were red-faced and panting. "I don't know _what_ the hell is wrong with you two, but if I _ever_ see anything like this ever again, I'm telling Mom and Dad!"

"I was just giving her a massage," Lincoln said innocently.

"You were practically fucking her!"

Luan rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Lori."

"Yeah," Lincoln said, "it's, uh, a Tibetan mouth massage. It really releases the tension." He hid his smirk behind his hand; Luan turned away so Lori wouldn't see her fighting back a giggle.

"Don't be a smartass," Lori said sharply, her nostrils flaring. "Luan, go to your room. Lincoln, stay right there."

Luan's shoulders shrugged. "But, Lori –"

" _NOW!"_

Luan sigh, got up, and stalked up the stairs, throwing a sexy look at her brother. "Later," she mouthed, and Lincoln nodded.

Lori loomed over her little brother, her arms crossed. "What was that about?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, and leaned back in the chair. "She had a rough day so I gave her a massage." He shrugged and picked up his comic. "I've done the same for Lynn a million times and no one's ever had a problem with it."

Lynn sputtered. "Not like _that_. You were sucking her ear off."

He held up his comic. "I told you, it's a..."

Shaking her head, Lori turned away and sat on the couch. "Just...shut up, Lincoln. What you and her were doing is sick and it ends right now."

"Okay," he said casually.

"I'm watching your little ass," she said.

"Watch away, sis, watch away."

Lori turned slowly toward the TV. Her phone rang in her pocket, and she jumped. When she saw who it was, she smiled and answered. "Hi, Bobby! Yeah, I'm alone." She stood and went up the stairs, laughing as she went. "Oh, Bobby, you're so dirty." Lincoln watched her over the top of his comic, a predatory smile cutting across his face. Ha, one down, one to go. He glanced at Lynn, who trying really hard not to look at him. _Jealous it wasn't_ you, _Lynn?_

Lynn would be easy to take care of. He looked around. All he needed was...aha, there it was, a football sitting by the front door. He tossed his comic aside, got up, and went to it, grabbing it off the floor. Lynn watched him warily. "I'm in the mood for some football. You wanna play ball, Lynn?"

Lynn's eyes narrowed. "You _never_ ask to play football; you're planning something."

He shrugged his shoulders. "If you're afraid your wimpy, dorky little brother is gonna mop the floor with you, that's okay. I'd be embarrassed too."

She snickered. "You think you could mop the floor with _me,_ Linc? You're out of your mind."

Lincoln tossed the ball into the air and caught it. "I think you're a little bitch. How's that leaky vag working out for you?"

Eyes flashing, Lynn jumped up. "Let's go. Your ass is _done_."

He followed her into the backyard with a little smile. Poor Lynn, she was so easy; she made fun of Leni being dumb, but when you got right down to it, she wasn't much better.

Outside, she took up a position by the fence and he went over to the opposite end of the yard. Roughly a hundred feet separated them. "Throw the ball, homo!" she cried, waving her hands.

Winding up, Lincoln snapped the ball as hard as he could, and watched with satisfaction as it sailed over the tips of Lynn's fingers and then the fence between theirs and Mr. Grouse's yard. "No!" Lynn wailed. Mr. Grouse had a policy: If something came over the fence and landed in his yard, it belonged to him. "My ball!"

Snickering, Lincoln walked over as Lynn climbed up onto the fence and peered over. "Gee, Lynn, I'm sorry," he lied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I don't know my own strength."

Lynn scanned the yard and spotted her ball under Mr. Grouse's back porch. "I oughta make you go get it." She threw a leg over the top of the fence and dropped down. When she was out of sight, Lincoln whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number.

Mr. Grouse answered on the second ring. "What do you want, Loud? Wheel of Fortune is on."

"Lynn's in your backyard. I told her not to but..."

He heard Mr. Grouse's back door slam open. "Caught you red-handed, Loud!" he yelled.

Lincoln grinned as Lynn sputtered out a reply.

"Sit down on the step," the old man said. "I'm going to explain to you _again_ why it's wrong to go into other people's yards."

Ha! That gave him half an hour.

Feeling ten feet tall and bulletproof, he went inside and crossed through the living room, where Leni was still glued to the TV. "Hey, Leni," he said, and she grunted something that might have been 'hello.' Perfect.

At the top of the stairs, he poked his head into Luna and Luan's room. Luna was sitting at her desk doing her homework, and Luan was cross-legged on her bed, her laptop balanced on her knees. She looked up, and grinned. "Hey, Linc."

"Hey," he said, "can, uh, can you come help me with something?"

Luan snapped her laptop closed, threw it aside, and jumped up. "Sure, Linc. We'll have a ball. Maybe two."

"Yes, you will," Lincoln said. In his room, he shut and locked the door, and Luan pounced him, knocking him back onto the bed and pushing her tongue past his lips. He slipped his hands up the backs of her legs to her butt, his tongue battering against hers.

She broke the kiss and looked down at him. "I'm so fucking hot for you, Linc."

He grinned. "I'm hot for _you_ ," he said.

She leaned in and curled the tip of her tongue over his lips. "Let's do it." She hopped off of him and laid back on the bed. Lincoln straddled her and pushed her skirt up her legs, his breath catching when her blushing, glistening pink flower was revealed. Her heat and her smell washed over him like a warm summer breeze, and he inhaled deeply, his member pressing insistently against his pants. "Do you like it?" she asked.

Lincoln unzipped his pants and pulled his rod out. It was flushed, pulsing, and already starting to leak. Luan's jaw dropped. "I'll take that as a yes!" He slipped his pants and underwear down and planted his arms on either side of her. He dipped in and kissed her neck. "No foreplay," she panted, "I'm already there, just fuck me."

Okay! Lincoln shifted his hips and aligned their sexes, his tip pushing past her folds and pressing against her slick opening. She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Lincoln nodded back, and jerked his hips down, plunging into her and pushing her velvety walls apart. She cried out and wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms flying around his neck. "Yes!"

Lincoln thrusted deep into her and moaned as her insides formed tightly around his quaking shaft. The heat was incredible...the wetness dizzying...he bared his teeth and jerked forward, striking the opening of her womb. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she started to shake, a hitching series of gasps escaping her lips.

Hot lead welled up in Lincoln's stomach and he squeezed his eyes and teeth closed and tried to fight it back. "Don't move!" he moaned. He could save himself...but the slightest movement would knock him over the edge.

Luan trembled against him, her hips rocking against his.

" _Stop!"_

"I'm t-trying," she stammered, "but I'm c-cumming."

As it on cue, her muscles clamped him, and that was it: He expanded and then exploded, shooting his load deep into her stomach. Luan winced as searing liquid filled her insides, her own orgasm gaining strength even as it ripped through her body.

Lincoln flopped limply against her and tried to catch his breath. She rested her hands on his butt and did likewise. "That's one way to _come_ together," she said, and tittered. Her throat was tacky and her heart was racing. Her brother's seed sloshed inside her and was beginning to dribble out around his shrinking dick.

"You're funny," he said. He pulled out and rolled off, lying pantingly next to her. For a long time neither of them spoke, Luan relishing the feeling of his cum dripping down the crack of her ass and Lincoln fighting to keep from falling asleep. "Linc?" Luan finally said.

"Hm?"

She rolled onto her side, propped her elbow against the bed, and rested the side of her face in her upturned palm. "I know we just had sex and all...and it was awesome, but, uh, do you think we can, like, _not_...you know...make a big deal about it?"

Lincoln glanced at her. "You mean just have sex and not fall in love or something?"

"...Yeah."

He grinned. "Siblings with benefits."

Luan's eyes lit up. "Exactly!"

Something occurred to him. "Now that I had my nut and I'm not so consumed with lust, I'm beginning to think we made a huge mistake downstairs."

Luan snickered. "Don't worry about Lori. I have a little dirt on Miss Mean and Bossy. I have dirt on _everyone_ , come to think of it. Plus there's always..."

"Oh, yeah, your cameras."

Luan nodded. In her pursuit of comedy gold, Luan had set up a plethora of hidden cameras around the house. Lincoln remembered what he did earlier, and chuckled nervously. "One of the tapes from today _might_ show me sniffing your underwear."

She laughed. "Linc...I had your dick in mouth...and you blew your load in me...I think you're allowed to sniff my panties. If that's what does it for you."

He shrugged. "You weren't around."

"I am now," she said, and kissed his cheek. She started to get up. "I need to clean up." Lincoln grabbed hold of her wrist and winked.

"See you later?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

In the hallway, she shut the door behind her and took a deep breath. Was it just her, or could she smell their mingled love in the air? It was intoxicating and made her dizzy. She could certainly feel him coursing down her thighs, and that made her shiver. It –

"Oh, you little _bitch_."

Lori was coming down the hall, her eyes blazing and her shoulders lifted. Uh-oh. Ducking left, Luan threw herself down the stairs, taking them two at a time. She glanced over her shoulder; Lori was pounding after her. "Mom!" she cried, "Dad!" At the bottom, Luan raced into the kitchen and jumped into a seat at the table. Her father was standing at the stove with a pink apron on and a steaming pot of something on the stove before him. "Dad!" Lori called, and he rolled his eyes.

She came into the kitchen, and fixed a withering gaze on Luan. "Dad, Luan..."

"Lori," Luan interrupted, "I think before you talk to Mom and Dad, you might you want to see something." Luan's eyes flashed mischievously. "You _really_ need to see it."

Lori's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Luan grabbed an apple from a metal basket on the table and took a big, crisp bite. "Just a little home movie...from the other day."

Lori's heart clutched. She wasn't talking about...?

The younger girl got up and brushed past her. "C'mon, Lori. I can't _wait_ to show you." Dread gathering in her stomach, Lori followed as, in the kitchen, her father shook his head. He loved his girls...but they could be so goddamn dramatic sometimes.

"I swear to God, Luan, if you're..."

They were at the top of the stairs now. Luan opened Lincoln's door and poked her head in. He was lying in the dark, where she had left him. He sat up. "Hey, Linc, could you come here for a sec?" He started to nod, but froze when he saw Lori. Oh, shit. His oldest sister's nose crinkled as warm smell of incest tickled her nostrils.

Swallowing hard, Lincoln got up and followed Luan and Lori into Luan's room. Luna was nowhere to be seen. "Have a seat, guys," Luan said, nodding toward Luna's beanbag chair. She went to her closet and rummaged around as Lori and Lincoln sat. Lori's face was pale and her eyes were filled with worry. What was this dirt Luan had on her? It had to be something bad.

With an "Aha," Luan found the tape, came over, and pushed it into the VCR. She dropped down next to Lincoln and put her arm around him. "You're gonna like this, Linc," she said, "it's hysterical."

Lori was trembling.

On the screen, Lori was sitting on her bed and looking at her phone. A face appeared at her window, and she jumped up with a smile. She lifted the sash, and Bobby crawled in. Almost immediately they started going at one another like a couple of horny kids. He pushed her back onto the bed and started kissing her neck and fondling her breasts. Lincoln laughed. "Oh, just you wait," Luan said, "it gets better."

After a few minutes, they were both shirtless. The door opened, and Leni appeared, her eyes closed and her head bobbing from side to side. Lori and Bobby froze as Leni crossed to her vanity. A sound must have betrayed them, because her lids sprang open, and she gasped.

Luan picked up the remote and pushed a button. The scene fast-forwarded. When she hit play, Bobby was lying naked on Lori's bed while Leni stroked his dick and Lori passionately kissed her sister's neck from behind.

Lincoln and Luan both burst out laughing. Lori hid her flushed face in her hands. After a minute of this, Lori shoved Leni back against the bed and started kissing her lips. Bobby lay there for a minute before sitting up and raising an eyebrow. Lori pushed Leni's dress up, yanked down her panties, and buried her face in the younger girl's snatch. Lincoln and Luan pressed their foreheads together and cried with laughter as, onscreen, Bobby tapped Lori on the shoulder; she shoved him away, and a few minutes later he got dressed and climbed out the window, looking annoyed.

"Not only is she a mean, bossy bitch," Lincoln said, "she's a hypocrite!"

"It just happened, okay?" Lori moaned. "I didn't _mean_ to do it."

"And you were gonna snitch us out," Luan said and shook her head.

Lori sighed and looked away. "Fine. I won't tell if you don't."

Luan touched her chin with her index finger. "I don't think that's enough." Her eyes lit up as an idea hit her. "I know."

She shifted off the beanbag chair and knelt between Lincoln's legs. She laid her hands on his knees and smiled seductively. "Wanna help me punish Lori?"

Lincoln nodded.

"Good."

She unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out. It was just as hard and hot as it had been a few minutes ago. Lori gasped and looked away, throwing her hand up to shield her eyes. Sure...something sorta kinda happened between her and Leni, but that didn't mean she wanted to see her little brother's dick.

Wasting no time, Luan wrapped her lips around Lincoln's head and pushed slowly down, flicking her tongue along his underside and working up enough salvia to sink a battleship. Lincoln threw his head back and moaned as she reached his base then pulled slowly back up. On the second pass, she went faster, slowly increasing her speed until her head was flying back and forth in a blur. Lincoln's eyelids fluttered and his breathing was getting heavy. He was close.

Sensing this, Luan pulled back, aimed his dick at Lori (who was still looking away), and gave it three rough yanks. He grew in her hand, then spurted like a stepped-upon éclair, his load splattering Lori's bare knee. She screamed and jumped up, her feet tangling; she fell, and Luan pointed his dick at the backs of her legs; silvery cum splashed against naked flesh. Lori let out a wordless cry and stumbled to her feet, sobbing into her hands now.

"That was fucked up, Luan," Lincoln said when he heard Lori's door slam.

Luan shrugged.

"And hot."

She grinned. "Hey, I have an idea to make...us easier. It involves one of our other sisters."

"What?"

She told him, and he grinned. "Let's do it," he said, and they did.


	4. Steppin' into the Twilight Zone

**Guest: No, I've actually never seen Rick and Morty.**

* * *

Lynn Loud wasn't the most intelligent girl in the world, but she knew a set-up when she smelled one, and what Lincoln did to her was a _total_ set-up: One thing about Lincoln, he was a conniving little bastard.

After listening to a forty-five minute lecture from Mr. Grouse, Lynn stalked through the front door ready to tear Lincoln's head off. Way in the back of her mind, she knew that he ditched her to go do something with Luan, the pervert, but that didn't matter; he tricked her and made her look stupid, and Lynn Loud did not like being bested by a white-haired comic geek. Lisa, Leni, and Luna were on the couch watching TV. When she came in, they all glanced at her. "Where is he?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"Who?" Luna asked.

"Your brother."

"It's a point of fact that Lincoln is your male sibling as –" Lisa started, but stopped when Lynn shot daggers at her. "He's upstairs."

Rolling her neck, Lynn went up the steps and kicked his door open: It crashed against the wall with a sound like judgement day. The room was dark and empty. Probably hiding like the little bitch he was.

She turned just as he came out of Luan's room. He looked up, and she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, slamming him against the wall. "You little _shit,"_ she hissed, bringing her fist up. "You did that on purpose!"

His eyes, hitherto wide with shock, narrowed coldly. "I did...and you fell for it. Dumbass."

Lynn's face darkened. She pulled him close, the tips of their noses touching. "You better watch yourself, Lincoln. You might wind up getting your feelings hurt."

Lincoln pulled back, and before Lynn could register what was happening, his forehead was crashing into her nose. Hot pain filled the world, and her grip on Lincoln's shirt released. He shoved her back, took a step forward, and caught her across the jaw with a wicked right hook: Her head whipped around and her knees gave out, dropping her to the carpet. Her ears rang and she felt woozy. What happened?

She gasped when Lincoln sat his foot on her chest and cried "One, two, three!"

That son of a bitch! She grabbed his ankle and threw him back against the wall. Luan was in her doorway, watching with wide eyes.

Lynn staggered to her feet, blood gushing down her face and the front of her jersey. "Come on, you faggot," she growled, putting up her fists. Lincoln's eyes hardened. She threw a punch, but he ducked and her fist crashed through the wall. He hit her left side with a quick jab, but she countered by throwing out an elbow that caught him in the jaw: His teeth clicked together with an audible snap.

She yanked her hand out of the wall and threw another punch before Lincoln could recover: It caught him in the cheek, and he stumbled back. Lynn moved it for the kill, but he drove an uppercut into her stomach that lifted her off the ground: Her vision grayed, and she fell, curling up on her side and fighting back tears. Lincoln looked around, panting: All of his sisters were watching, drawn by the commotion. Luan grinned wickedly and licked her braces in an obscene gesture: Watching Linc whip Lynn's ass was _hot_.

"It was inevitable," Lola said and shrugged.

"Nice job, bro," Luna said. "As many times as she's kicked your ass, it's about time you beat her up."

Lana toddled over, knelt, and looked into Lynn's eyes. "You got knocked the fuck out," she said, then hit Lynn with a haymaker that knocked her unconscious. " _That's_ for breaking my lucky plunger."

At dinner, Lynn appeared with wads of toilet paper plugging her nose and a Lana sized bruise on her chin. "Tough day at practice, honey?" Lynn Sr. asked. He knew damn well what happened, but she kind of deserved it, what with as many times as she'd beaten up on Lincoln.

"You look like you got hit by a train," Lola said.

"Yeah," Lana added, "a train with white hair."

Both girls snickered.

Lynn grunted as she sat and glared at Lincoln. Lincoln nodded. _Anytime, bitch_ , he mouthed. She glanced at Luan, who watched Lincoln with dreamy eyes. Oh, right. "What was all that about you kissing Luan's neck earlier, and sucking on her ear?" she asked her bother, and grinned slightly as some of the color drained from his face.

"You did _what?"_ Rita asked, her eyes widening.

Lincoln looked around. What should he do? "She's just making things up."

Lynn snickered. "Lori saw it." She glanced at her older sister. "Right, Lori?"

"What are you talking about, Lynn?" Lori asked without looking up from her plate. Her voice was hollow, without force "Stop making things up."

Lynn blinked. "But you saw it!"

"I didn't see anything."

"B-But..."

"Lynn Marie Loud, stop making up stories about your siblings," Lynn Sr. said. "If I hear one more lie out of your mouth, young lady, you'll be grounded for a month."

Lynn flashed, slamming her fist on the table in a clatter of glass and metal. _"He was practically fucking her in the living room!"_

Lynn Sr. jumped up. _"Enough!"_

Sighing, Lynn sat down, grabbed her fork, and angrily stabbed a piece of potato, shoving it into her mouth and glaring at Lori, who simply looked down at her plate with a nervous expression.

"I've _had_ it with this topic," Lynn Sr. said, and retook his seat. "Now if you don't mind, young lady, I would like to have a peaceful dinner."

 _Fuck you,_ Lynn thought. She snuck a glance at Lincoln; he was smiling smugly down at his food. Little butt-sucking bastard.

When dinner was over, Lynn waited inside her door, her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. After what felt like forever, Lori appeared and started for her door; Lynn sprang out and blocked her path. "Why'd you lie?" she demanded.

Lori didn't meet her gaze as she replied. "Just drop it, Lynn."

Lynn took a step forward, her rage boiling over. "You're the second Loud to make me look like a fool tonight, and I wanna know why!"

"If they wanna act like a couple hillbillies, it's not our problem," Lori said. "Now move or I'll be the second Loud to kick your ass tonight."

She pushed past Lynn, who watched her enter her room with burning eyes. She didn't buy Lori's bullshit for a minute; there was a reason she lied, and it wasn't because she had some kind of gay-ass epiphany. Lynn clenched her fists and stormed into her room. She'd prove that Lincoln and Luan were being sexual with each other, and everyone would beg her forgiveness – especially her henpecked father. _I'm sorry, Lynn, I should have listened to you. What an idiot I've been!_

A savage grin split her face as she laid back on her bed and laced her fingers over her chest. They'd see...they'd _all_ see. Lynn Loud always won when she put her mind to something, and she was going to bust her pervert brother and sister so hard their fucking tentacle-baby grandkids would feel it.

That's the thought that carried her to sleep that night.

* * *

Lincoln Loud jerked at the sound of his alarm, his heart jumping into his throat and his eyes flying open. For a second the dream lingered in his head, and he was sure that Luan was next to him, naked and panting after an hours long boink session, then it dissipated like morning fog and he realized he was alone. He slammed the OFF button and laid back against the pillow. His dick was so hard it ached. Too bad he couldn't sneak away with Luan for a little pre-school incest.

Sighing, he sat up and waited for the sleep to drain from his skull before attempting to get up; at least two mornings a week he stood too fast and wound up crashing headlong into the wall. Not a very good way to start your day.

In the hall, Luna, Lucy, the twins, and Luan were waiting for their turn in the pisser. Luan was last, a thin white nightgown clinging to her supple body: Her legs were long, smooth, and bare, and he could _juuust_ see the outline of her butt.

He grinned as he walked over, his raging erection pulling him along like a divining rod...a divining rod quivering not for water but for pussy juice. He boldly put his hands on her hips, poked his boner into the cleft of her butt, and kissed the side of her neck. She purred and melted back into him. "Hmmmm...morning, Lincy."

Luna turned, a smiling of greeting on her face...and her jaw dropped when she saw Lincoln kissing Luan's neck and rubbing her stomach through the fabric of her nightgown. For a second she was too stunned to speak, then she came alive. "Whoa! What the hell?"

Lucy turned, and her lips turned down in an almost imperceptible frown. "Uh..."

The twins turned too, and their eyes went wide. Lincoln licked Luan's neck and then nipped her earlobe. She was reaching behind, her fingers running through his hair. Her nipples poked through her nightgown, and she sighed as a little quiver ran through her body.

"Dude, stop!" Luna cried. She glanced strickenly at Luan. "Luan!"

When Lincoln's hands crept down Luan's stomach and got dangerously close to her center, Luna reacted by stiff-arming him in the forehead and driving him back. His face darkened. Luan fixed her with a deadly look. "Why'd you do that?" she demanded.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Luna yelled, her arms gesturing wildly.

"I was saying good morning to my sister," Lincoln grumbled.

"You were basically fingering her," Lucy said.

Luan shot Lucy a hateful glance. "It was _not_ that bad. You're crazy."

" _You were making out with your brother!"_ Luna screamed. _"Do you know how wrong that it?"_

Lincoln stepped forward and slipped an arm around Luan's shoulders, pulling her against him and sniffing her hair. "You're a nutcase, that's not what we were doing."

"It sure looked like that's what you were doing," Lola said and crossed her arms. "If you're going to make out with one of your sisters, Lincy, you should make out with _me_."

Luna glanced at Lola, then Luan. Did she wake up in the fucking Twilight Zone or something? "You're just jealous because I'm Lincoln's _new_ favorite sister," Luan said.

Nodding, Lincoln kissed Luan's shoulder. "It's true."

Luna walked away. She needed to sit down.

Lucy, Lola, and Lana watched as Lincoln cupped one of Luan's breasts in his hand and rolled the fabric-covered nipple between his thumb and middle finger. Luan bit her lower lip and rubbed her butt against his boner. "Hmmm, Lincy."

Behind Lincoln, Lynn announced her presence by making a sound of disgust. "You two are so gross."

"Scram, bitch," Lincoln said.

Lynn snapped. She grabbed his shoulder, and he drove his elbow into her stomach, knocking the air out of her in a whoosh. He turned, and she punched him in the chest as hard as she could: He fell back, but Luan caught him, her eyes narrowing. "Knock it off, Lynn, unless you want Mom and Dad to know _you're_ the one who broke Mom's priceless vase and not Cliff."

Lynn froze. Three weeks ago, while playing football in the house (like her parents had told her repeatedly not to do) she bumped into the end table in her parents' room and shattered some stupid vase Mom loved so much. Family heirloom or some shit. She managed to convince her it was Cliff. If Mom found out it was her... _and_ she lied...she was fucked.

That made her mad. "You _bitch_ ," she growled.

Luan smirked and Lincoln grinned. Lynn balled her fist. "Mom!" Luan called. Lynn unclenched her fist and took a deep breath. "I hate both of you."

Lincoln flipped her off.

"And Lola, Lana, and Lucy," Luan said over her shoulder, "I have dirt on you too, so tread real fucking light."

Lucy sighed, Lola 'humphed' and jerked her head away, and Lana gulped.

* * *

At breakfast, Luan sat across from Lincoln and slipped her foot up the cuff of his pants, stroking her socked toes along his leg. They grinned at each other. Their sisters all watched them warily and with a healthy amount of disgust – all except for Leni, who, closed-eyed, prattled incessantly about 'Birdman' from Dr. Phil.

"That's really fucking sick," Luna muttered and shook her head.

"I'm all for forbidden love," Lucy said, "but your own family? Yuck."

Luan glanced at the gallery of revolted faces, and smiled as an idea struck her. She got up, went around the table, and dropped into Lincoln's lap. She took his face in her hands...and kissed him deeply, making sure they all got a good view of their tongues wrapping around one another.

Everyone groaned.

"I've suddenly lost my appetite," Lisa said, and got up.

"Me too," Lana said.

"I think I'm gonna ralph," Luna said and covered her mouth.

Leni was still obvious. "If _I_ could, like, turn into something, I'd turn into a unicorn, because unicorns are _totes_ cute, and I'd wanna be _totes_ cute too..."

Dad walked in from the living room, and everyone froze...except for Lincoln, Luan, and Leni. "Hey, kids," he said.

He looked directly at Lincoln and Luan...then away...just as casually as you please.

Lynn couldn't believe it. "Seriously?" she asked, tossing a hand up. "You're not gonna say anything?"

He stopped and regarded her with a quizzical expression. "About what?"

" _They're sucking each other's faces off!"_

Dad turned and looked at them, then back to Lynn, his brow flattening. "I see a brother and sister showing each other affection and not trying to get each other in trouble or bickering with one another. You could all learn something from Lincoln and Luan."

Seven jaws hit seven chests.

"I literally can't believe this," Lori said.

"You're just as sick as they are," Lynn said.

Dad exploded. "Alright, young lady, you're grounded 'til Christmas. And Lori, for that snide remark, you _literally_ can't see Bobby for a week."

Lori gasped. "But, Dad..."

" _Two_ weeks."

Lori sighed and shut her mouth. Dad nodded then went into the kitchen. When he was gone, Luan pulled her lips away from Lincoln's. "See? You're the ones with a problem."

"Yup," Luna said, throwing up her hands and standing, "I'm in the Twilight Zone."


	5. It Starts Getting Weird

Lynn Loud spent the majority of her day seething with rage. Lincoln and Luan were raping each other every chance they got, and their parents were okay with it, or at least Dad was. She should have known he was a fucking pervert, just like his fucking pervert son and his fucking pervert daughter. What about Mom? Something told Lynn _she_ wouldn't be happy. But if she told, Luan would show her the tape of her breaking the vase and she'd get in trouble.

She was at an impasse...and she _hated_ impasses. She was Lynn motherfucking Loud; when she came to an impasse she crashed through it like a 500 pound linebacker on PCP. Hmmm, let's see. She could tell Mom without them knowing it was her. Everyone in the family knew; how would they know it was her and not Luna or something?

The thought of Lincoln and Luan being forced into therapy made her smile. It would serve their nasty asses right, teach them to mess with _her_. Maybe they'd wind up being taken away and put in a group home for sex offenders.

Was that going too far?

Nah, fuck them. They had it coming.

At football practice, she pretended that everyone on the opposing team was either Lincoln or Luan, and smashed them into the ground, losing herself at one point and kicking her latest victim when she was down, earning a tongue lashing from the coach. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Loud? This is football, not the WWF! Take your ass to the shower before I wring your neck!"

In the shower, Lynn let the hot water roll over her naked body, but the tension in her muscles did not ease; if anything, it grew until she was virtually stone. It briefly occurred to her to fake an apology to Lincoln so she could get one of his famous massages, but she decided against it, since the little pervert would probably start kissing her neck and back. That shit might fly with Luan, but not her; she'd punch his teeth down his throat.

She cut the spray and toweled off, wrapping it around her when she was done. In the locker room, she hurriedly dressed, then walked home through the golden late afternoon. She didn't know what she was going to do yet, but, damn it, she was going to do _something._

Fifteen minutes after setting out, she walked through her front door and froze. Lincoln and Luan were on the couch, Lincoln on top and kissing her neck, his hand running up the outside of her bent leg. She was moaning his name. As Lynn watched in horror, he yanked her panties off and tossed them aside, then his pants slid down his pale butt. He thrusted, and Luan cried out.

For a moment Lynn could only look on in shock, then she came alive, slamming the door as hard as she could and throwing her gym bag aside. Neither of them seemed to notice. "I'm telling Mom!" she cried. "I don't care if I get grounded, your nasty asses are _done_!"

She pounded up the stairs. "Mom! Mom! _MOM!_ "

"What, dear?" Mom's voice drifted from her room. At the doorway, Lynn leaned against the frame. Her mother was sitting on her bed and going through pictures. "Mom! Lincoln and Luan are having sex on the couch!"

Mom's jaw dropped. _"What?"_

"Come on! Hurry!"

Mom got up and rushed over. Lynn grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her down the stairs. "I came home from school and I saw them, it's terrible, they're doing it and they've _been_ doing it and Dad doesn't care and everyone's grossed out."

In the living room, Lincoln was slamming into Luan, each thrust producing a meaty slap. Her sock-clad legs were wrapped around his waist and the warm, musky smell of randy teenage siblings filled the room. Mom's eyes went wide. "Lincoln and Luan!" she roared.

Lincoln jumped off of Luan like a rocket, and Luan sat up, closing her legs and looking guilty. "I cann _ot_ believe this!" Mom raged.

On the couch, Lincoln and Luan hung their heads in shame.

Mom's nostrils were flaring, and Lynn smiled with dark satisfaction.

"This is...insane!" Mom yelled, throwing her hands up. "Oh, my God! I- oh – yuck! On the couch? Really? Go to your room and do that!"

Lynn's jaw dropped.

"Sorry, Mom," Lincoln and Luan said in unison.

Mom took a deep breath. "You kids go finish up and we'll talk about this later."

Lincoln and Luan smiled at each other, then stood and went up the stairs hand-in-hand.

" _Mom!"_

Mom fixed her with a baleful look. "No one likes a tattle tale, young lady, especially when all they were doing is bonding."

"But –"

"Go to your room."

Lynn grabbed her hair in her hands and pulled in a gesture of madness. _"This is insane!"_

* * *

At dinner, Luan sat in Lincoln's lap and fed him bits of beans and franks. Mom and Dad made small talk like something disgusting _wasn't_ happening, and everyone else sat as far away from the incestuous pair as possible. "Why are Mom and Dad okay with this?" Lynn asked.

Lori shrugged. "Whatever. Just ignore them."

It was really hard, though. They giggled and kissed and touched each other. Something occurred to Lynn and she started to speak, but closed her mouth and waited. After dinner, she went to Lisa's room and waited for the little girl to enter. When she did, Lynn snatched her by the front of her shirt and lifted her off her feet: Her eyes widened with terror and her face drained of color. " _You_ did something," Lynn growled, pressing her nose against Lisa's.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Lisa stammered.

"Spill it, Lise, or so help me God, I'm going to knock your goddamn head off."

"Alright! Alright!" Lisa cried. "They forced me to brainwash our parents! They threatened to reveal my radical political leanings and my technological support of terroristic organizations. What else could I have done?"

Lynn growled and threw Lisa to the floor. "Undo it!"

"No," Lisa said pointedly and stood. "I rather like not being in federal prison."

Lynn balled her fists and stepped forward. "You better undo it or your ass is grass."

Lisa whipped a Lugar out of her pants and pointed it at Lynn: Lynn's muscles froze and her heart blasted in terror. "Your ass is grass if you don't get the hell out of my room, Lynn. I can easily kill you and wipe everyone's memory, and it'll be as though you never existed. Don't fuck with me."

Lynn sputtered and tried to speak, but her vocal cords were locked. Lisa jabbed the gun at her, and she came alive, uttering a sharp cry and hurrying out of the room. Back in her own room, she slammed the door, dropped onto the bed, and started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Lucy asked from her own bed.

"This family is crazy!" Lynn yelled, and kicked her legs. She punched her pillow and threw an elbow against the wall, cracking it.

"You're just now figuring that out?"

"Lisa did something to Mom and Dad so they wouldn't care that Lincoln and Luan are doing it."

Lucy shrugged one shoulder. "That actually makes sense."

"Lincoln and Luan are crazy. We-we have to stop them."

Lucy considered that for a long time. "How?"

"I don't know," Lynn said. She sniffed and sat up. "But we can't let them keep this up. God only know what they'll do next..."

* * *

Luan was on her hands and knees on Lincoln's bed. She was wearing a frilly pink dress, white gloves that went to her elbows, and a tiara. Lincoln knelt behind her, wearing a green sweater. She was pretending to be Lola, and he was pretending to be Dad. When Luan first brought up roleplay, Lincoln wasn't sure, but he quickly got into it. Presently, he gripped her hips and entered her from behind, his rigid member slowly sinking into her burning wetness. "Oh, Daddy," she moaned.

"Honey," Lincoln panted, thrusting deep into Lola-I-Mean-Luan. "D-Daddy's little princess."

"Fuck me harder, Daddy!"

Lincoln went faster, his balls rhythmically slapping her clit. It was too much. She bowed her head and came, her body jerking forward as Lincoln's sticky seed blasted against her walls.

"Damn, Linc," she panted, "that was hot."

"Yeah," Lincoln said and collapsed next to her.

She rolled onto her side and looked at him. "You know what would be even hotter?"

"What?"

"If we raped Lynn."

Lincoln's jaw dropped. "R-Rape? I don't know..."

"Guarantee you she'll like it," she replied, swirling her finger on Lincoln's bare pubic mound. "She's full of tension...a good old fashion fucking will do her good."

Hm. Lincoln stroked his chin and thought about it. "You think?" He couldn't lie, Lynn was hot. He'd never thought to look at his sisters that way until Luan, but now he had to admit: Every single one of them was a knock-out...except for Lisa, but she was only four, and something told Lincoln that in ten years she'd be a fox, too.

Luan nodded. "I do."

He thought of touching Lynn's naked body, and shivered. "Alright. When?"

Luan shrugged. "Why not right now?"

Sure. Why not right now? He was already starting to get hard again. "Lure her in here," Luan said. "Then..." Lincoln listened as she spoke, his dick growing tighter and tighter until he thought he was going to bust. When Luan was finished, he nodded, kissed her, then jumped up, pulling his pants on. In the hallway, he went to Lynn's door and knocked.

"Yeah!" Lucy called out.

He opened the door and poked his head in. Lynn was lying face down on her bed. "Hey, Lynn," he said sharply, and she jerked up, her eyes narrowing. "You're a _bitch_. A punk ass, pussy ass bitch, and I bet you ten bucks I could whip your ass like I did last night."

Lynn's face started to turn red.

"Come on," he said, and gestured, "come get that ass beat."

"Watch it, Lincoln," she growled.

"What's the matter? Afraid of getting your grill busted by a white-haired comic geek...again?" He laughed as hard as he could, wrapping his arms around his stomach and stomping his foot.

Lynn was shaking with rage.

"Lynn motherfucking Loud my ass! You're a joke! You're a..."

Lynn sprang at him, and he danced back. "Come on, little girl..."

She got to her feet and came for him; he turned tail and ran into his room, Lynn pounding right behind him. "I'm gonna kill you!" she screamed.

When she was in the room, the door slammed and she turned just as Luan brought the lamp down: It shattered against Lynn's skull, and the world went black.

"Alright," Luan said, "let's do this."

* * *

Lynn came slowly and groggily awake, swimming up from the shadowy depths of unconsciousness the way a diver would raise from the bottom of the sea. The first thing she was aware of was an aching pain in her head: It throbbed with every beat of her heart, and for a moment she was disoriented. What happened? Did she take a bad hit at practice? She tried to open her eyes, but they were gummed over, and just the effort required to lift her lids made her head hurt even more.

A shiver ran through her, and she realized there was a wicked draft. It was almost like she was –

Her eyes flew open, and she realized two things almost at once: One, she was stark naked and stretched out on her back, and two...her wrists and ankles were tied to the bed. Cold terror rushed through her, and she tossed her head. Lincoln and Luan were standing over her, looking down at her with dark grins. "Hey, sis," Luan said, "we knew you were _bound_ to wake up soon."

Lynn tried to speak, but her throat bobbed impotently and her heart pounded. She felt something she wasn't used to feeling: Fear. She was so scared she was literally trembling. Lincoln reached out, and she jerked, a pitiful moan escaping her lips.

"Hey," he said softly as he laid his hand on her taunt stomach, sending goosebumps racing up and down her body, "we're not gonna hurt you."

"Yeah," Luan said, "you can be kind of a bitch, but you're our sister and we still love you."

Lynn's eyes flashed back and forth between Lincoln and Luan, her breathing coming in ragged gasps.

"We want to make you feel good," Lincoln said, and gently ran his hand across her stomach.

Lynn's heart clutched. What? Why was he touching her? And – oh, God!

"S-Stop," she said, hating the frail sound of her own voice. She swallowed and tried to speak with more force. "Stop it, Lincoln, _now_."

Lincoln's hand froze, and he frowned at her. Luan knelt and touched her face; Lynn flopped her head toward her sister. "You'll like it," Luan said, "we have...something special planned."

"Let me go," Lynn said, fighting to keep her voice even.

"Just..."

" _Let. Me. Go."_

Luan glanced up at Lincoln, a sly Mona Lisa smile on her face that Lynn didn't like one bit. "Guess we'll just have to show her."

Shrugging, Lincoln turned and took a bottle off his dresser. He opened it and poured a measure of liquid into his hand. "What's that?" Lynn asked nervously. Was it some kind of death ointment Lisa whipped up?

"Massage oil," Lincoln said, rubbing his palms together. "You're very tense...we figured you might like a massage."

Lynn gulped. There was a suggestive hilt to his voice that told her he wasn't talking about your ordinary rub down...that he meant something sick and perverted. The thought of him touching her like that made her angry, and she bared her teeth. "If you touch me, I swear to God I'll kill you."

Grinning, Lincoln came over and laid his palms flat on her stomach, then slid them wetly apart, smearing oil across her flesh.

"You son of a bitch," Lynn growled.

Lincoln's hands crept over the small mounds of her breasts, and when the tips of his thumbs brushed across her nipples, which were already hard from the cold air, she jerked, lightning bolts of sensation shoot into her core. She sucked a sharp intake of breath, and squeezed her eyes closed. He was raping her...her own brother was raping her...

He ran his hands over her breasts, and her stomach fluttered at the stimulation. Slowly, he worked his way up to her throat, his fingers delicately trailing along her skin. She hated him for doing this to her...and hated her body for responding...her sex for dampening...her heart for starting to palpitate. "Fuck you, Lincoln," she spat as he ran his hands over her face and into her hair, his nails lightly grazing her scalp and making her breath catch. "F-Fuck you."

"Just relax, Lynn," he said, "I'm your brother, and even though we fight and stuff, I still love you...and I won't hurt you. I promise."

The feeling of him dragging his nails across her scalp sent tendrils of hot pleasure shooting into her stomach and below. This was wrong...so fucking wrong...but it felt _sooo_ good.

Hot shame washed through her. "P-Please stop, Linc," she said suddenly, "let me go."

"Shhhhh," he whispered, dancing his fingers back down her face, her throat, over her breasts. She was panting now, her body flushed with fever. She squeezed her eyes tighter and tried to think of something, anything, else. She felt his hand moving down her stomach, dangerously close to the spot between her legs: Her back tingled and her traitorous pussy quivered in anticipation. She tried to speak, but her throat was suddenly dry.

When he slid his middle finger between her folds, she gasped and tried to draw away, the deviant passion gathering within scaring her. Luan stroked her cheek and pressed her lips to her ear, her hot breath making Lynn's flesh prickle. "Enjoy it, Lynn..."

Lincoln skipped his fingers over Lynn's clit, and a bomb blast of pleasant agony ripped through her. She hissed through her teeth as her back arched. Luan licked her earlobe and laid one hand on her trembling breast, which increased the waves of feeling crashing over her. She tried to pull herself out of the tide, tried to tell herself that it was wrong and disgusting, but he began to lazily caress her sensitive nub, and all thoughts ceased as white hot rapture filled her skull. A long moan escaped her lips, and her knees began to shake.

"You like it," Luan said, and kissed Lynn's neck. She pinched her sister's nipple, and the jock yelped. "Don't you?"

Lynn sucked her lips in and beat back a cry as Lincoln kneaded her clit faster and more firmly. Luan tilted her head and pressed her lips to hers: Lynn opened her mouth and hungrily kissed her sister, assaulting her tongue and thrilling at the warm taste of her mouth. Luan drew back, and Lynn's eyelids fluttered open. "You like it."

"Umhm," Lynn nodded, unable to speak.

Luan looked at Lincoln, and a smile passed between them. "She likes it, Linc."

"I knew she would," Lincoln said smugly.

He gave her clit one more firm, slow flick, then took his hand away. "Don't stop," Lynn moaned, "please don't stop, Linc."

"Don't worry," he cooed, and unzipped his jeans, "you're gonna like this even better."

When she heard the zipper, she opened her eyes and fixed him with a thirsty stare, her teeth unconsciously chewing her bottom lip. He stepped out of his pants, and Lynn purred in the back of her throat when she saw his erection pushing out the front of his briefs. He was her brother, but she didn't care: It was _hot_.

Slowly, teasingly, he slid his briefs down, and his rigid thing popped out: Lynn mewled at the sight of it, the shaft thick and the skin taunt. Fluid dribbled from his crowned tip, and it pulsed like it was _alive_.

She had never seen anything more beautiful in her life; she licked her lips and shifted her hips, her core crying out for penetration.

Lincoln climbed onto the bed and crawled over her, his wet head trailing along her leg and making her shake. His face hovered inches above her own, his sweet breath puffing against her lips. He touched her face and pressed his tip to her slit, prodding her just above her opening. The soft touch of his heat against her throbbing sex made her dizzy: She felt like she was going to explode if he didn't fuck her _right now_.

He lowered his face, and she jerked up to meet him, smooshing her lips desperately against his, jamming her tongue into his mouth, and swirling it around his. He threaded one hand through her hair and pushed his hips, his head sliding down and tentatively poking her hole, her lips slipping over it. The pressure was rising, she was getting hotter, she kissed him deeper, more urgently, arching her back in an attempt to coax him in. "Fuck me, please," she begged, rocking her hips. He slid a fraction of an inch in, and the feeling was indescribable. She was sputtering, going off the rails, losing control of her mind and her body and she _liked_ it.

Another inch sank into her: He was expanding her canal and it stung in the most beautiful way. _"Please fuck me, Lincoln!"_

Lincoln pushed his hips flush with hers and his entire length filled her. She cried out and threw her head back against the pillow. Lincoln pulled back, then surged forward again, his dick knocking down her walls and puncturing her womb. "God, yes!"

He worked his way into a fast tempo, slamming hard into her. Her mind blanked as hot pleasure filled her. She was barely aware of Luan kissing her neck and rubbing her breast, was barely aware that a mixture of her juices and Lincoln's precum was leaking down her butt – all that existed was the orgasm rapidly gathering in her loins like a hurricane. Lincoln thrusted deep and swelled; when his cum splattered against her cervix, her own climax broke over her, and she let out a long, hitching moan, her body convulsing against his.

For a long time he laid atop her, his dick sheathed in her fevered insides. She could feel him pooling in her depths like molten lead, and she shivered delightedly. He slowly pulled out and rolled off, stretching out next to her. Luan stretched out on the other side and stroked her cheek. "How was your first time?"

Lynn drew a deep, shuddery breath. "Fucking _awesome!_ "

"Still think incest is gross?"

"I _love_ incest!"

Luan kissed her cheek. "Good."

After they untied her, they sat side-by-side-by-side on the bed, Lynn nude and Lincoln naked from the waist down. Lynn liked the feeling of hers and her brother's mingled juices drying on her inner thighs. "So," Luan asked, "who should we recruit into our sinful harem next?"


	6. The Sinful Harem Grows

Luna Loud had trouble sleeping that night: Maybe it was the cold, glowing moonbeams falling through the window and across her face...maybe it was the knowledge that the next bed over was empty, and that its occupant was currently in the room at the end of the hall, doing something dirty with someone it shouldn't be doing dirty things with...or maybe it was the Coca-Cola she drank for lunch. Yeah, let's go with that.

She tossed restlessly and faced the wall, which glowed pale white against the moon's assault. She drew her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes, but she was _not_ tired, and every time her lids went down, a scene began to flicker across their insides: Lincoln and Luan tonguing each other in the dining room, or Lincoln's hands creeping closer and closer to Luan's center in the hallway. Ugh.

Luna loved her brother and her sister and their little...god, whatever it was...wouldn't make her stop. Let's get that out of the way right now. Having said that...Jesus fuck, man, that's so nasty! The fact that they were _blood relatives_ was bad, but you know what was even worse? The psychological aspect. Here they had known each other since they were little kids, and now they were doing whatever. Luna tried to imagine herself doing what Luan was probably doing, and a shudder raced through her. How can Luan see anything but her cute, dorky little brother when she looked at him? How can she not remember him as a baby when she was whatever-whatever?

It mystified her...it really did. It also made her kind of sick, because yuck.

And Dad didn't care.

In fact, he acted like it was the most normal thing in the world. What did he say? _I see two loving siblings being nice to one another_ or some shit? Really, dude? What the fuck? Did Mom know? Should she tell her?

Should she even interfere?

Yeah, it was gross as all get out, but she didn't really want them to get in trouble, and doing things like that with your sibling is libel to get you in a fucking _world_ of trouble. What would Mom do if she wasn't a total sell-out like Dad? Separate them? Send their asses to therapy or something? She didn't know, this was uncharted territory. She didn't want to see Linc and Luan in therapy for the rest of their lives, but, you know, maybe that's what they needed.

Or maybe she needed to mind her own business.

Ehhh...tough call. Stand aside and let them fuck each other silly, or say something.

She didn't know _what_ to do; she was so confused she barely knew her own name anymore. Maybe she should talk to Lori; she'd probably know what to do.

As Luna struggled to find sleep, a door creaked open in the hall, and a dark figure tiptoed to a door. Pausing, the figure listened, then slowly turned the knob. Inside, two girls were asleep, the gentle sound of their mingled snores rising from the darkness. The figure crept to one of the beds and knelt, laying its hand on one bare arm. "Hey," it said, and shook.

"Huh?" Leni muttered sleepily and removed her sleep mask: Her eyes were puffy and distant.

"I need your help," Lincoln said, "like...a lot."

Leni blinked the sleep from her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I just...I really need you. Please. As a sister."

Concern rose in Leni's chest. Something was wrong and Lincy needed her. "Okay," she said, and swung her legs out from under the covers. Lincoln led her down the hall, his index finger pressed to his lips in a 'be very, very quiet...I'm hunting wabbits" gesture. Leni nodded and placed her own finger against her lips to show that she understood. In his room, he shut the door and turned the lock.

"What do you need help with?" she asked, looking around the moonlit room.

"Well," Lincoln said, and rubbed the back of his neck, "it's kind of embarrassing."

"Lincy," Leni said and knelt before him, putting her hand on his shoulder and smiling warmly, "I'm your big sister. You don't have to be embarrassed. Did you pee the bed?" She cocked her brow. "Did you _poop_ the bed? I'll still love you either way, I just want to know what I'm dealing with here."

Lincoln sighed and looked trouble. He was _so_ adorable! "Actually, I need your help...getting off."

Leni's brow crinkled and her head tilted slightly to one side. "Off? Off what, Lincy?"

Instead of replying, he unzipped his jeans and took his thingie out. Leni's eyes widened and she gasped, hot color spreading across her cheeks. His eyes shone in the light of the moon. "I need to put this inside of you."

Now, Leni wasn't, like, smart or anything, but she knew a _little_ bit about sex stuff; Lincy wanted to have sex with her! He was her brother, though, and you're not supposed to have sex with your brother. It's, like, gross or something.

Even so, Leni felt a strange tingling in her tummy and in her girl parts. His thingamabob looked _really_ nice, and she kind of wanted to touch it.

But no, it was wrong. "Lincy, we can't do that," she explained. "We're brother and sister."

Lincoln sighed, a look of hurt in his eyes. Leni's heart melted. He looked so miserable, poor thing! "Please, Leni...I really need to get off."

She took a deep breath. _It's for Lincy,_ she thought, _so it can't be_ that _wrong._ "Alright," she relented, and he grinned, which made her heart happy again. "How, uh...how do we do it?"

"Get on the bed...on your hands and knees."

She tossed her head. "Okay." She got up and crawled onto the bed, waiting on her hands and knees while Lincoln got behind her. When he pushed her dress up over her lower back, she blushed. She wasn't wearing any underwear.

Lincoln didn't say anything, and Leni suddenly felt very self-conscious and unsure of herself. Knowing that he was looking at her butt felt kind of wrong, but she kind of liked it, too. No boy had ever seen it before, even though there had _totes_ been boys she wanted to show it to. She was starting to think he found her ugly, then he panted. "You're so sexy," he said, and pulled his pants down.

She smiled. "Thank you."

He gipped her hips, and her stomach fluttered strangely. It felt weird but good to be touched there. Something hot and hard poked her Leni-hole, and she jumped with a little yelp.

"Shhh," Lincoln said, "that's just my sausage Linc."

For a minute, Leni didn't get it, then she did and she giggled. "So it's..."

Lincoln's sausage pushed into her Leni-hole and her voice broke. It was stingy and made her sad, but she was a good sister and her Lincy needed to get off, so she clenched her teeth and didn't complain. His shaft slid into her and pushed her walls apart. It didn't feel good...but it sorta kinda did. He bottomed out and rocked his hips against her. Her heart was slamming and her body was getting all hot like she had a fever. He panted as he pulled back, his head moving wetly along her passage: Her breath caught and she squeezed her eyes closed, not sure if the pleasure was greater or the pain.

He pulled all the way out until his head was resting against her opening once more, then slammed in. They moaned in unison. Okay...the pleasure was greater: Hot passion filled her and she shoved herself back against Lincoln, the feeling of him jammed against her limit making her squeal.

"Oh, Lincy," she sighed as he stroked in and out of her, his shaft rubbing against her wet, rippling walls and creating dizzying friction. She bowed her head and moved back into each one of his thrusts. Something strange was happening inside of her: It felt kind of like...she didn't know. "Oh," she sputtered, then: "Something's coming..."

Lincoln went faster, and whatever it was came, breaking over her in a wave of euphoria. She cried out and went limp, falling forward just as Lincoln's own orgasm hit him: Sticky wads of burning Lincy juice splattered her butt and her lower back, and the hot feeling of it made her flesh tingle. Lincoln groaned and toppled over, lying next to her.

She stayed where she was for a moment, her eyes shining in the moonlight and her sweaty blonde hair hanging in her face. When she turned to him, she was grinning. "That was, like, amazing."

"I told you she'd like it," Luan said, and Leni's head whipped around. Luan and Lynn were standing by the side of the bed, Lynn's arms crossed and Luan's hands on her hips.

"Hi, Lynn! Hi, Luan! I helped get Lincy off!"

"She did a good job, too," Lincoln said. "So...who's next?"


	7. Battle Lines

**Guest: A social justice warrior? I mean, I** _ **could**_ **, but** _ **should**_ **I? Chances are if I turn him political, I'm going to wind up making fun of his philosophy, whatever it is, and that might tick off my liberal readers – whom I love and respect, of course.**

 **STR2D3PO: It meant that Lisa is unattractive now but might very well be attractive later on. Lincoln likes the twins...as we find out in this chapter.**

* * *

Luna woke to the sound of her alarm at 6 the next morning. She was groggy and felt barely alive, but she slapped the OFF button and got up anyway: The show must go on.

In the hall, she got into line behind Lucy, who stood with her head bowed and her arms limp at her sides. She looked the way Luna felt. "You okay, Luce?" she mumbled.

"Eh," she grunted.

Luna threw her head back and crossed her arms. She was just starting to fall asleep on her feet when someone slapped her arm. "You're gonna tip over if you aren't careful," Lynn said.

"I had trouble sleeping," Luna said. "I was..." she turned and made sure neither Lincoln or Luan were around. "I was thinking about Linc, you know, and Luan."

"Yeah, they're wild," Lynn grinned, and confusion overcame Luna. Lynn was the most vocal against their relationship, and now she was just shaking her head and chuckling. Hm.

Just then, Lincoln came out of his room in nothing but his briefs. Luan came behind him, pulling her panties up under her skirt as she went. Luna blinked. Oh, dear God, they were fucking, weren't they? Actual, honest-to-god fucking.

Lynn turned around. "Morning, Linc!"

"Good morning," Lincoln replied.

When Lincoln and Lynn passionately kissed, Luna's jaw fell open with a click. What the fuck? She saw movement from the corner of her eye, and turned to see Lola standing in her doorway, her arms crossed and her brow lifted. Next to her, Lana watched the sibling lovefest, her head tilted in confusion.

"And it spreads," Lucy said from next to Luna, startling her.

Luna sighed. _At least it can't get any worse..._

Leni came out of Lincoln's room then and stretched. "I'm so _sore_ , Lincy."

Luna threw up her hands. Fine, if they wanted to fuck each other, they could be her guest. She started to turn, but the way Lucy was watching her older siblings gave her pause; the little girl looked like she was enjoying the show, her pallid cheeks turning light red. Oh, hell no. "Stop watching them," Luna said more harshly than she meant, and pushed Lucy away. She turned and swatted Lynn in the back of the head. Lynn glanced over her shoulder.

"If you guys wanna do whatever with each other, fine, but I swear to God if you touch Lilly, Lisa, Lana, Lola, or Lucy, I will beat your fucking heads in."

Lynn rolled her eyes. "We're not pedophiles." She let go of Lincoln and turned to her older sister. "But if we want to touch them, we _will_."

Luna surprised herself by throwing a hard right hand: It hit Lynn square on the chin, and her head rocked back. She stumbled, but Lincoln caught her.

"That was _totes_ mean!" Leni gasped.

Luan's face darkened.

Lincoln's eyes narrowed.

Luna shook her hand: She wasn't an experienced fighter, and she did not expect punching someone in the face to hurt her as much as it did them.

"You fucking _bitch,_ " Lynn said, and tried to go after Luna, but Lincoln held her back. "I'm gonna knock your teeth out for that!" She thrashed, but could not break out of her brother's arms.

"We won't mess with them, okay?" Lincoln said.

"You _better_ not."

At breakfast, Leni, Lynn, and Luan sat in a big group around Lincoln. Lynn and Luan rubbed their hands up and down either one of his legs while Leni played with his hair. Luna looked at Lori across the table. Lori watched them with slitted eyes. When she turned to Luna, she shook her head and sighed.

Mom came in from the living room just as Leni and Lincoln leaned into a long, slow French kiss. Luna's heart jumped in excitement. Ha, your asses are busted! To Luna's horror, Mom looked at them...then away. "Morning, kids."

Alright, this was too fucking much. Something strange was...

She glanced over at Lisa, who stared deeply into her cereal bowl, her spoon skimming the surface in a contemplative manner. Whenever something strange happened in the Loud house, it was usually Lisa's doing. There was the time she opened a dimensional rift in the bathroom, the time she turned the gravity off in the living room, the time she somehow made everything go in slow motion.

Now this...it had Lisa written all over it. Sigh. She didn't have the time to deal with it right now, but after school she was going to have to have a _long_ talk with her second-youngest sister.

On the walk to school, Luna glanced at Lori. Leni was trailing behind, her head in the clouds as she presumably remembered all the incest she committed the night before. "I think Lisa has something to do with all of this," she said. "At least Mom and Dad not caring about it."

"Really?" Lori asked. "That would make sense. Why, though?"

Luna shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe they forced her into it, or maybe she's the one who forced them into something. She's always doing those weird experiments."

"What do we do?"

"Talk to her," Luna said, "see what we can find out, and if we can stop this: It's starting to get out of hand."

All that day, Luna found it hard to focus on her schoolwork. She would sit at her desk and gaze out the window, silently worrying: Worrying that Lincoln and his little harem would try seducing one of the younger sisters, worrying that Lisa was the one behind all of this, and that by going and talking to her, she would be revealing herself as an enemy to Lisa's mad scientist. Maybe it started with Linc and Luan, and Lynn went to Lisa, only to wind up with her mind scrambled. That thought bothered Luna through lunch, and for a while she considered forgetting about it. The memory of what Lynn said in the hallway earlier – _If we want to touch them, we will_ – however, decided her; she was _not_ going to let her little sisters be drafted into their nasty incest harem.

At the end of the day, she shoved her books into her locker (she had math homework, but fuck it, she could afford a failing grade just this once) and waited for Lori out front; she didn't think Leni would wait to walk with them...she was probably already on her way home. The middle and elementary schools let out earlier, meaning that Lincoln, Luan, and Lynn would be home.

Alone with Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lucy.

Luna's heart dropped, and before she knew she was even moving, she was shoving through a crowd of kids and trying not to break into a run as she rushed down the sidewalk. She got home ten minutes later, flushed and out of breath. Inside, Lincoln, Luan, Lynn, and Leni sat on the couch, watching TV. They all looked up when she came in, Lynn's eyes narrowing angrily.

"Where are they?" she demanded.

Lincoln's brow crinkled. "Who?"

"Lisa, the twins, and Lucy."

Lincoln sighed. "Luna, we told you we weren't going to mess with them. Lynn was just trying to get under your skin earlier."

"And it worked," Luan said, crossing her arms.

Ignoring her, Luna closed the door and hurried up the stairs, finding all of the girls in their respective rooms.

"We're gonna get Lola and Lana, right?" Lincoln asked on the couch.

"Of course," Luan said. "Making it with twins is every guy's dream, isn't it?"

Lincoln snickered. "It's certainly mine."

* * *

 **So Lori and Luna stand opposed to Lincoln and his Harem. What side are you on? #TeamLoriAndLuna #TeamHarem**


	8. Luna and Lori vs The Harem

Luna waited in her room for Lori to get home. When she heard the front door open, she went into the hall. Lori appeared at the top of the stairs. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I couldn't leave them alone with the younger kids," Luna said, and Lori nodded in understanding. "Are you ready to talk to Lisa? I wanna get to the bottom of this."

"Yeah," Lori said, and drew a deep breath, "I'm ready." In actuality, she was not. She had many of the same thoughts as Luna, and had come to a shocking realization: She was terrified of her second-youngest sister. Lori didn't know much about science, so Lisa was already _literally_ a wizard as far as she was concerned, and when you corner a wizard, bad shit can happen.

Luna went to the little girl's door and knocked. Lori fell in behind her and crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

"Enter," Lisa called.

Luna opened the door and went in, Lori bringing up the rear. Lisa sat at her computer, her back to them. "Hey, Lise," Luna said, "we, uh, need to talk."

"About?"

Luna glanced at Lori. Back me up, dude.

"About Lincoln and Luan...and Lynn...and Leni."

Lisa, hitherto typing, stopped and turned. "What about them?"

"Come on, Lise," Luna said. "You've seen the way they've been acting...and how Mom and Dad treat it like it's normal...what did you do to them?"

Lisa sighed and pushed her fingers under her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose. "As I told Lynn yesterday, I brainwashed our parents to accept Lincoln and Luan's incestuous proclivities. I did not do it of my own free will; I was blackmailed."

"So...you didn't, like, run any weird experiments on them?" Lori asked cautiously.

"No, I did not," Lisa said. "I do not condone what they are doing nor do I wish to have any part of it, but my hand was forced. If I were you, I'd forget the matter entirely and live my life despite the fact that my siblings are disgusting social degenerates."

Luna nodded. "That'd be a good idea...if it wasn't getting worse. Yesterday it was Lincoln and Luan, today it's Lincoln, Luan, Lynn, _and_ Leni. This morning I told Lynn not to touch you, the twins, or Lucy, and she said they would if they wanted to."

"Is that the reason you punched her in the face?"

Luna nodded.

With a sigh, Lisa looked away. "It _is_ starting to get out of hand. Irish statesman and philosopher Edmund Burke famously said, 'The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.' By standing idly by we are supporting Lincoln's, Luan's, Leni's, and Lynn's perversion and allowing it to grow. What can we do? Luan has dirt on all of us. I could very well go to jail for some of the things I've done, and I rather like my freedom."

Luna thought for a minute. "You brainwashed Mom and Dad, right? Why can't you brainwash Lincoln, Luan, Leni, and Lynn to forget they're attracted to one another?"

Lisa blinked. "Why didn't _I_ think of that?"

"Do you think it'll work?" Lori asked.

"I don't see why it wouldn't," Lisa said and got up. She went to her closet, opened it, and disappeared. She came out after a few seconds with a device that resembled a gun with an antenna dish sticking out of the barrel. "Could you have our deviant siblings come see me, please?"

Luna and Lori went downstairs into the living room...and froze at what they saw. Lola stood on the couch and passionately kissed Lincoln while Lucy's head bobbed up and down between his legs. Lincoln's fingers threaded through Lola's blonde hair, and she held his face in her gloved hands. Luan and Lynn ran their hands over Lana's naked body. "This actually feels really good," Lana panted.

Luna snapped. Shoving past Lori, she stalked over to Lincoln and yanked the shit out of his cowlick. His head whipped back and he cried out. "Hey!" Lola yelled.

Lynn and Luan got up and started coming for her. Six-year-olds...an eight-year-old... _fucking perverts!_ Luna hit Luan with a spinning kick, and the girl fell against the wall. Baring her teeth, Lynn charged, and Luna punched her in the face.

Lori shrank back, her hands going to her face.

"You crazy _bitch!"_ Lola shrieked, and leapt over the back of the couch, hitting Luna and making her stumble. "That was my first kiss, and you ruined it!" She wrapped one arm around Luna's neck and balled the other in a fist. Before Luna could speak, that fist crashed into her jaw. Lola threw a second punch that hit Luna's lip: Blood filled her mouth.

Luna grabbed the back of Lola's dress and flung her across the room, wincing when she hit the wall and sank to the floor. She didn't have time to wonder whether she was alright or not, though, for Lucy came around the side of the couch; Luna noted the cum dripping down her chin and gagged, giving Lucy enough time to punch Luna in the stomach. The rocker doubled over, and Lucy grabbed both sides of her head, but before she could bring her knee up, Lori slapped her hard in the face, and she went down.

Shrieking, Lynn dove at Lori and crashed into her legs; Lori fell with a sharp cry, and Lynn scrambled on top of her, grabbing her by the front of her tank top and punched her in the cheek. Luna went to help, but Luan grabbed her by the back of the shirt and spun her around: A quick jab hit Luna in the face, and her head jerked back. That little _bitch_. She retaliated with a hard slap that sent Luan reeling; she followed it up with a slap to the other cheek. She then grabbed the front of Luan's shirt. "How could you?" she yelled. "Your little sisters!"

Luna screamed when something cold and metal smashed into the back of her leg. Her knee gave out and she went down. "I was having fun!" Lana cried, and brought the firepoker down onto Luna's back. Across the room, Lola moaned and stirred before losing consciousness again.

At the front of the stairs, Lori had rolled on top of Lynn and was battering her with a flurry of slaps, screaming and crying hysterically. Luna was lying face-down on the floor, panting as hot pain radiated through her body. Lana lifted the poker again, but Lincoln grabbed her by the wrist. "Stop!"

Luan struggled to her feet and brought her fist around: It connected with the back of Lori's head, knocking her off of Lynn. Next to Lincoln, Lucy got up and kicked Luna in the side.

"Guys!" Lincoln cried, his heart racing. "Come on! Stop! Please!"

Lori pushed herself into a sitting position, and Luan kicked her in the knee.

Lincoln opened his mouth, but the sound of gunfire filled the room, and everyone froze. "That's enough," Lisa said tightly. She was standing on the stairs, her Lugar pointed at the ceiling.

Everyone glanced at each other.

Lisa came down the stairs, and Luan, Lynn, and Lori scurried out of the way, their faces pale. "I take full responsibility for brainwashing our parents, but this –" she waved the gun around, and everyone shrank back like vampires from a cross –" _this_ is your doing. Look at yourselves, tearing each other apart – sexually _and_ otherwise. What's wrong with you? In the span of – what has it been, three days? – you've managed to utterly destroy your relationship with your family...and for what? Sexual pleasure? Are you really such _untermensch_ as to place your own base desires selfishly above your family?"

Everyone hung their heads in shame.

"I ought to exterminate the lot of you. What you've done here today reveals that the bonds this family shares are far more brittle than they would appear. How you can copulate with your sister or your brother – or smash your sister in the back with a goddamn firepoker – is beyond me. I'm a literal Nazi and even _I_ could never bring myself to kick my own sister when she's down." She looked pointedly at Lucy, whose face blushed. "This episode leaves me wondering after our future – what _else_ will come along and make you try to kill one another?"

Lynn started to cry, and so did Lucy. Lori put her arms around Lynn and drew her close: Lynn hugged her tight.

Lucy knelt and slipped her arms around Luna's neck, pressing her face into her older sister's back and weeping. Lana dropped the poker, knelt on Luna's other side, and rubbed her back, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Luna," she said, "I'm so sorry."

Lincoln drew a deep, watery breath. This was ultimately his fault: He was so blinded by his recently discovered lust that he allowed himself to hurt his family. He fell to his knees, fisted the carpet, and sobbed. Luan rested her head against Lori's back and put her arms around her oldest sister's waist. This was _her_ fault. She was the one who talked Lincoln into brain washing their parents so that they could be open, and into bringing their other sisters in. She did it for selfish reasons: Once she admitted her attraction for Lincoln, she admitted too her attraction for her sisters. She didn't mean for it to get out of hand like this...

Shaking her head, Lisa walked into the living room among her siblings. She noticed Leni was missing...then saw her peeking around the corner from the kitchen, her eyes red and wet. "Come in here, Leni," Lisa said.

Leni did, moving slowly and fearfully. "I went to get a drink...I didn't hurt anyone. Please don't shoot me."

"I'm not going to shoot you," Lisa sighed, then looked around the room. "Everyone gather in front of me. "

Touching, holding hands, helping each other, the Loud kids mustered in front of Lisa, ready to do as she said without question, for in that moment they realized that she was wiser than any of them.

"I am going to wipe your memories of this incident and ensure that you are all programmed to be better to one another. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

Lisa held up the dish-gun and pulled the trigger: A bright green light bathed her siblings' faces, and their eyes went wide. "None of you will ever be sexually attracted to each other again. None of you will hit each other...or kick, or bite, or scratch. You will be better siblings and you will treat each other with kindness, tenderness, and love. Understood?"

Everyone nodded mechanically. "Good." She took her finger off the trigger and went upstairs as her siblings came back to their senses. None of them knew how they got the bruises, cuts, and headaches that day; Lucy did not know why her mouth tasted funny, nor did she know why there was drool crusted to her chin; Lana did not know why she was naked...but they did know one thing: They loved each other greatly, and from that moment on, they were always good, and kind, and tender to one another.

And they were _never_ attracted to each other. Yuck. Why _would_ they be?


End file.
